The Mother Of It All

New York Times critic at large Amanda Hess joins us to talk about the convergence of parenthood and technology. We dig in to everything from freebirthers to prenatal testing, and from “complicated” pregnancies to the many anxieties (and joys, too) of raising a child in a world where a $1600 Snoo has become a newborn must-have and corporations know about our pregnancies before our immediate families do. Hess’s much anticipated memoir, Second Life: Having A Child In The Digital Age (which we both LOVED), is out May 6th. Links: * Prenatal Testing Offers Pregnant Women More Information Than Ever — But No Support To Deal With It (Romper) * Unfit Parent by Jessica Slice* Girl on Girl by Sophie Gilbert* Happiest Baby On The BlockIf you love the work we do on Mother Of It All, please consider becoming a paid subscriber, which you can do at motherofitall.substack.com. Paid subscribers get access to everything behind the paywall, like subscriber-only episodes and if you subscribe at the founding member level, we’ll send you one of our awesome tote bags. If you can’t become a paid subscriber, that’s OK! It’s always free and helpful to follow, share, rate and review our show here and everywhere else you listen to podcasts you love. Thank you!* Visit our Bookshop storefront to find all the books we’ve mentioned here and in previous episodes. When you shop there, we get a small affiliate fee (yay, thank you!). * Visit motherofitall.com to send us ideas for a future episode or learn more about the show.* Follow the podcast on Instagram (@themotherofitall) or Bluesky (@motherofitallpod.bsky.social) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit motherofitall.substack.com/subscribe

We reunite with author and parent Jessica's Slice ahead of the release of her tremendous book, Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World, to learn how her life with a second child has taught her to throw out the milestones and ask for help (even when it involves a dead possum!). Then, you get to listen to Sarah’s initial interview with Jessica, which remains one of our all time favorites and touches on parenting perfectionism, disability justice, and parenting neurodivergent kids. Links:* Order Unfit Parent * Jessica’s website and Substack newsletter:Jessica Slice writes about disability, poems, and waterfowl* Disability Visibility, edited by Alice Wong* Lucy Webster’s The View From Down Here* Andrew Leland’s The Country of the Blind: A Memoir at the End of Sight* We've Got This: Essays by Disabled Parents, edited by Eliza Hull This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit motherofitall.substack.com/subscribe

Debbie Reber, the host of the Tilt Parenting podcast, talks to us about what she’s learned from having hundreds of conversations on raising differently-wired kids. We discuss independence versus self-determination, low-demand parenting, how to find your parenting integrity, and whether even having these conversations is a parenting privilege. Links:* Miranda is So Busy So Bored* The Woman Who Thought She Was a Planet and Other Stories by Vandana Singh* Our new Bookshop storefront!* Tilt Parenting Podcast* Differently Wired: A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope* I Who Have Never Known Men* Jessica Slice’s Unfit Parent* I Will Die on This Hill* Ross Greene’s Explosive Child* Low-Demand Parenting* The Declarative Language Handbook* Dr. Gina Riley on Self-Determination Theory Culture recs:* The Traitors* Bather’s Library Oakland* Lego Masters* How to Talk to Kids When The World Feels Like a Scary Place* Dr. Megan Anna Neff Neurodivergent Insights This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit motherofitall.substack.com/subscribe

“I remember the bizarre feeling of my baby kicking inside me while taking care of patients dying of COVID in the hospital.”Brett was a doctor in a small town when the pandemic hit, with a toddler at home and a baby on the way. In this episode, she and Miranda (who are childhood friends) talk through her experience as a parent, spouse, and physician during those intense years, and the way they continue to impact her and her family five years later. Also, we agree that a cold juice box actually does cure a lot of things, it’s just a fact. Links: * Our pandemic parenting survey (you can still take it if you want to)* The first episode of our pandemic parenting surveyIf you love (or honestly even just like) the work that Sarah & Miranda do here on Mother Of It All, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. You support this work (thank you) and will get access to super special content like subscriber-only episodes and even very awesome tote bags for founding members. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit motherofitall.substack.com/subscribe

“Coming into parenthood for the second time, I knew a lot. And I think I had this vision of what I would do differently, and I was going to plug into the local mom's groups, or plug into the play dates and take the yoga classes with the kids and things like that. And it became not that. It became just very, very isolating.”Sarah talks to Marta, who had a fresh professional and parenting start planned, only to be hit with the pandemic. We discuss her desires to tend to her self now that her kids are a bit older, and to find the community she had wanted to build when shut-down struck. Links: * Our pandemic parenting survey (you can still take it if you want to)* The first episode of our pandemic parenting surveyIf you love (or honestly even just like) the work that Sarah & Miranda do here on Mother Of It All, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. You support this work (thank you) and will get access to super special content like subscriber-only episodes and even very awesome tote bags for founding members. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit motherofitall.substack.com/subscribe

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Sarah speaks with Arianne, who gave birth just days into the pandemic lockdown. They discuss how birth trauma and isolation led Arianne to doubt her attachment to her daughter, tricky family relationships, and how she’s healed and found what they call “heart family.” Links: * Our pandemic parenting survey (you can still take it if you want to)* The first episode of our pandemic parenting surveyIf you love (or honestly even just like) the work that Sarah & Miranda do here on Mother Of It All, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. You support this work (thank you) and will get access to super special content like subscriber-only episodes and even very awesome tote bags for founding members. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit motherofitall.substack.com/subscribe

In this engaging discussion, Amil Niazi, a parenting columnist for The Cut, unpacks the challenges of managing children’s YouTube consumption. She shares insights from her essay on how to wean kids off algorithm-driven content, exploring whether parents can effectively push back against screen time. Amil provides practical tips for setting boundaries without causing chaos at home. The conversation also touches on humorous anecdotes surrounding menstrual cups, adding an unexpected twist to parenting in a digital age.

“I truly believe in the power of policy, and I have been like radicalized by that, since becoming a mom and living here.”Sarah chats with Ariana, a mom in Norway, about how it felt to be a fresh ex-pat when the world shut down. They discuss the overlap and many differences between parenting in the U.S. and Norway during covid, the impact that financial support makes, and how hard it can be to navigate new places at a time when people are holing up. Links: * Ariana wrote more about her pandemic experience on her Substack: What the pandemic taught me about parenting (and life) in Norway* Our pandemic parenting survey (you can still take it if you want to)* The first episode of our pandemic parenting surveyIf you love (or honestly even just like) the work that Sarah & Miranda do here on Mother Of It All, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. You support this work (thank you) and will get access to super special content like subscriber-only episodes and even very awesome tote bags for founding members. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit motherofitall.substack.com/subscribe

“Our foster daughter was doing virtual school. My partner was doing virtual school in the other room. My foster daughter couldn't really stay in virtual school unless I was right next to her, and I was often also on a video call with her social worker ,whose daughter was in virtual school. So it was just like, infinity schools in our house.”Ashleigh had recently quit her job to become a foster parent, and found herself intensively parenting almost 24/7 when Covid lockdowns began. Here, she and Miranda discuss what life was like then, and how those dense days continue to impact her perspective as a parent now. Links: * Our pandemic parenting survey (you can still take it if you want to)* The first episode of our pandemic parenting seriesIf you love (or honestly even just like) the work that Sarah & Miranda do here on Mother Of It All, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. You support this work (thank you) and will get access to super special content like subscriber-only episodes and even very awesome tote bags for founding members. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit motherofitall.substack.com/subscribe