Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship 117 Shame and the Fear of Man
“The remarkable thing about God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else.” – Oswald Chambers
Today’s topic highlights the intersection between the fear of man, shame and how it’s indicative of how small our God is. Learn to identify shame and then how to view it in light of God’s truth. When people are big in your life, God is small, but if God takes the proper proportion, you genuinely get to experience freedom.
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Show Highlights
- Living in a shame-driven culture
- Pervasive culture
- We’re living our lives in the fear of man
- People will see me
- People will reject me
- People will hurt me
- When fear of people becomes bigger than fear of God
- Identify different ways the fear of disapproval affects our daily lives before we can diagnose and help our children
- The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. Prov 29:25
- Living in the Shame
- What is shame?
- Finding what our shame is based in
- The garden story in Genesis 22:25 / Genesis 3:7-8
- Then the eyes of both were opened and they knew they both were naked
- Different causes of shame and the powerful force in peoples’ lives
- Shame from sin we do
- Shame from being victimized or sinned against (which then amplifies our own natural shame)
- Different effects of shame
- Low self esteem (and the wrong antidote we’re prone to fix it with)
- Hiding
- Spy through the peepholes in our walls
- The TRUTH
- The truth is that we don’t measure up so stop trying to measure up.
- You can wear a mask; you can hide from people, but you aren’t hiding from God. You’re seen by the one who is the most righteous. Psalm 139
- We let people get very big and live in the paralysis of the fear of man
- How understanding the gaze of God can release you from the shame and fear of man:
- Questions to ask ourselves
- What are you most afraid of?
- Who are you most afraid of?
- What scripture tells us:
- Matthew 10:28 / Fear the one who has power over our souls. God sees you.
- Romans 5:6-11 / While we were still weak, Christ died for the ungodly.
- We are enemies against God, but God died for his enemies and divinely exchanged our sin for his glory.
- He took on our sin and shame physically and spiritually.
- He exchanged our sin and shame and gave us his righteousness.
- In Christ, you are not shamed and exposed. You are clothed with his righteousness. You don’t have to be afraid of God. Isaiah 61:10
- Scripture references: Hebrews 13:6, Proverbs 29:25, Psalm 56:4, Romans 8:31
- Questions to ask ourselves
- How will seeing people and God in their proper places affect your marriage and parenting?
- Know that you are seen, loved, known and accepted by God who made everything.
- Knowing how you are loved frees you to offer the same grace you have been given.
- When people are big in your life, God is small, but if God takes the proper proportion, you genuinely get to experience freedom.
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The gospel is the story of God covering his naked enemies, bringing them to the wedding feast, and then marrying them rather than crushing them. Edward T. Welch
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In Christ, you are not shamed and exposed. You are clothed with his righteousness.
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Resources Mentioned
When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward T. Welch