When “Fine” Keeps Us Stuck: A Reflection on My Dad, Masking, and Adapting ep 558
whatshot 9 snips
Oct 6, 2025
Reflecting on his father's life, the host explores the phrase 'I’m fine' and its impact on seeking help. He shares how his dad's resistance to change mirrored his own experiences with ADHD and autism diagnoses. Listeners learn how an adult trike and a senior living community brought joy and connection, despite initial reluctance. The conversation emphasizes the importance of adapting and accepting support over sheer determination, encouraging listeners to examine where they might be masking their true struggles.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Dad’s Unforgettable Social Spark
Eric Tivers describes his dad as social, funny, and able to strike up conversations with anyone.
Those interactions showed a joyful person who connected despite memory and vision challenges.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Baseball Lessons Became Pride Lessons
Eric recalls playing catch and practicing baseball with his dad who prioritized fun over skill.
That showed unconditional pride and optimism that shaped Eric's childhood experience.
insights INSIGHT
“I’m Fine” As Masking
Eric connects his dad's repeated "I'm fine" to masking behavior common in ADHD and autism.
He notes masking can let you survive but often prevents asking for help and adapting.
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“I’m Fine”: What My Dad Taught Me About Resisting Help On August 14th, my dad passed away. In the weeks since, I’ve been reflecting on his life, his humor, his resilience — and his signature phrase: “I’m fine.” He said it when he was hooked up to machines in the hospital. He said it when he was on the roof cleaning gutters, even though his balance was shot. And most of the time, he wasn’t fine at all. In this episode, I share some of the lessons I learned from my dad about adapting — and about the cost of resisting it. From the adult trike he never would have bought for himself, to the senior living community he resisted but came to love, my dad’s story is a mirror for the ways we all struggle with change, masking, and accepting support. I also talk about my own journey: being diagnosed with ADHD at 19, and more recently, with autism — a diagnosis that really came into focus during a season of burnout. Like my dad, I’ve had to learn that determination isn’t enough. Saying “I’m fine” isn’t enough. What matters is adapting — and allowing ourselves to receive help when we need it. If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “I’m fine” when you’re not, this one’s for you. In This Episode The phrase my dad used that wasn’t always true — “I’m fine.” How his resistance to adapting shaped my understanding of masking. The trike that gave him joy he wouldn’t have chosen for himself. Why moving into a senior living community became one of the best decisions he never wanted to make. What his struggles taught me about ADHD, autism, burnout, and learning to adapt. Resources & Links Learn more about ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups: Join our virtual co-working community: Support the podcast on Patreon: