
The Dan Buettner Podcast Stop Being Awkward with Vanessa Van Edwards
52 snips
Sep 11, 2025 Vanessa Van Edwards, an author and behavioral investigator, joins for an engaging discussion on the power of social connections for longevity. She shares tips on moving beyond awkward small talk to energizing conversations that boost dopamine. Vanessa emphasizes the importance of finding your 'watering holes' for making friends and exploring shared quests to deepen relationships. Discover practical strategies to upgrade acquaintances into close friends and the vital role of vulnerability in building lasting ties.
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Episode notes
Ditch Scripted Small Talk
- Avoid scripted small talk like "What do you do?" and ask dopamine questions instead.
- Try "Working on anything exciting recently?" to spark enthusiasm and memorability.
Use Three Levels Of Conversation
- Use levels of intimacy to pace conversation: general traits, personal concerns, self-narrative.
- Share general traits in exciting ways to reveal identity while opening doors to deeper topics.
Go To Your Watering Holes
- Find your 'watering holes' — places or activities that energize you and attract like-minded people.
- Go there regularly so repeated exposure turns strangers into acquaintances and then friends.

