Living with Heart: From Birth to Death 98 - Addiction and its Formation
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In this new season, “What is Addiction” we will focus on three main aspects of addiction:
- what addiction is
- how addiction operates
- what recovery entails
How Addiction Operates
Addiction as a feelings problem
Addiction is a “feelings” disorder. A disorder of not knowing how to face, feel, and deal with the feelings that come with living life on life’s terms.
Life is a “feelings” experience, one we don’t control as much as we must face, feel, and deal with as wisely and productively as we possibly can.
To face life wisely and productively requires that we live in connection with others and God in an intimate way.
The substitute for living relationally connected is to distract ourselves from our own needs. This means that we attempt to find a counterfeit connection that offers a relief, but not what we genuinely need.
The distraction from our own hearts becomes the addictive process.
Addiction is marked by negative consequences for the addicted person, but their actions don’t change.
Addiction also has its foundation on the defense of denial.
Denial has five characteristics:
- Denial of facing the reality of what is occurring.
- Denial of the feelings related to reality.
- Denial of the needs related to the feelings.
- Denial about talking about the first three characteristics.
- Denial of the need to trust that things can actually be different.
Addiction is rooted in toxic shame.
Toxic shame is the internal sense of contempt a person has towards
- their feelings and needs
- the “clumsiness” of being human
- the reality of imperfection