The Daily Dad

Help Them Understand This Distinction

Jan 25, 2024

02:46

Snipd AI

In this episode, the podcast discusses the importance of teaching children to differentiate between their urges and their actions. It highlights the significance of guiding kids to regulate their emotions and redirect their actions in a positive manner, emphasizing the responsibility of evaluating behavior, apologizing, repairing, and learning from mistakes.

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Quick takeaways

Teach children the difference between having an urge and acting upon it in order to help them regulate their emotions and make better decisions.

Guide children to recognize negative emotions, pause, evaluate their actions, and make amends, to develop emotional regulation and make better choices.

Deep dives

Teaching the Distinction Between Urge and Action

In this podcast episode, Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of teaching children the distinction between having an urge and acting upon it. She explains that it is normal for children to experience emotions and urges, but it is crucial to help them understand that acting on those urges in a harmful or inappropriate manner is not acceptable. By humanizing the urge and redirecting the child's actions in a healthier way, they can learn to regulate their emotions and make better decisions over time. Instead of shaming them for their feelings, it is important to empower them to take responsibility for their actions and learn from their mistakes.

Teaching Children the Urge versus Action Distinction

3min

We have emotions. We experience stressful situations. We have intrusive thoughts.

So really what we have to teach our kids, Dr. Becky writes in her incredible book Good Inside (must read!), is how to differentiate urge from action. “Having the urge to bite is okay,” she explains, “biting a person is not. Having the urge to hit is okay; hitting a person is not okay.” We know this to be true in our adult lives—that there’s a big difference between being angry and then doing something rash or irresponsible or hurtful out of anger. We know that we can type the email and not send it. We know that we can want to quit on the spot but think better of it.

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