How to Persuade Anyone Before You Even Speak-EP 253

Last week another machinery dealer mentioned that being a family business was part of why she wanted to work with us at Graff-Pinkert. I don’t know if that was the deciding factor, but it reminded me that persuasion often happens before you say a word.

This concept of convincing someone before you even start making your pitch was coined “pre-suasion,” by bestselling author Robert Cialdini, one of the world’s leading experts on persuasion. I often use his techniques in our machinery business. Some of it just seems magical. (More blog under the video)

Check out the video I made breaking down the psychology behind this on my YouTube channel, I Learned It on a Podcast.

 

The 7 Principles (Restaurant Edition)

To understand pre-suasion, it’s important to learn about Robert Cialdini’s seven principles of persuasion—the reasons people say yes. One good way to explain them is through restaurants.

Reciprocity: There’s a great breakfast place in Chicago called Lou Mitchell’s, where they give you these great donut holes while you wait. You haven’t even ordered yet, but you already feel good about the place.

Scarcity: My local deli, Bergstein’s, only serves chicken soup with kreplach on Thursdays. That makes me crave it way more than if they served it every day.

Authority: When the menu says “Chef’s Favorite” or “James Beard Award Winner.” We trust experts’ taste.

Consistency: Restaurant rewards cards. Once you start earning points, you keep coming back to stay consistent with what you’ve started.

Liking: Good service, friendly staff. When the waiter notices your Cubs hat and says, “Hey, I’m a Cubs fan too.” You want to do business with people you connect with.

Social Proof: “Most Popular Item.” If everyone else is ordering it, it’s probably at least pretty good.

Unity: This is Cialdini’s newest principle. People want to do business with those they share an identity with. When a place says “Family owned since 1950” with walls full of family photos, it draws other families in.

Pre-Suasion in Action

According to Cialdini sometimes the most powerful influence happens before a conversation even starts. Researchers ran a study with an online furniture store. Half the customers saw a webpage with fluffy clouds in the background. The other half saw pennies. Same store, same products.

The cloud group bought furniture based on comfort. The penny group focused on price. When interviewed afterward, customers had zero awareness that background images had influenced their decisions. Crazy, right?

In college, my friend Ryan had the brutal job of calling alumni for donations. But Ryan understood pre-suasion instinctively, so he handled the task quite well. He’d ask alumni what they majored in and ask for advice on his own major choice. By asking for advice, he flipped the script. They went from being victims of a donation call to mentors.

Your Setup Matters

Before your next important conversation, whether it’s equipment negotiations, customer meetings, or personal conversations, think about the setup. If you’re designing a presentation or website, pay attention to the cues you’re showing. A single image or phrase can shape someone’s entire decision. That’s why I added “Family owned since 1941” to the top of our redesigned Graff-Pinkert website.

Before meeting with someone, do your homework. Figure out what they value, what they care about, and bring that into the conversation before you even make your pitch.

And a nice counterintuitive move: instead of trying to be helpful, flip it. Ask the other person for advice. You’ll be amazed how much that changes the dynamic.

Question: What’s the weirdest thing that’s influenced a customer’s decision in your business?