#75: Where Empathy Develops

Get out your thinking caps - this episode is heady and I had to rewind many many times to re-listen while I was working on these show notes.  We are talking empathy (and intimacy and conviction) today.  I believe that empathy is one of the key ingredients that will help her heart heal within the context of the couple-ship.  So developing empathy is KEY.

We talk neuroanatomy:  prefrontal cortex, mirror neurons, cortical hypofrontality and modeling of empathy from others.  We also talk biblical anthropology:  the holy spirit interacting with our spirit and in that there can be a cultivation of conviction, humility, a sense of our own brokenness, love, and repentance.

It’s the interplay between the two of these - the neuranatomy + the biblical anthropology that help cultivate empathy.  Both - And.

Action Items for men that are struggling to find conviction or have more of a self-depricating conviction (which can lead to empathy):

1. Write your story or revisit your written story and where the wounds are from childhood.

2. Two book recommendations (see below)

3. Reflect on:  what am I afraid of when coming to terms with the depths of my depravity?

4. Be aware of your “depravity floor” - and come to terms with the fact that we can all do bad things on really good days and thus need ALL of God’s grace.

We end by sharing a list of things that can help with developing empathy:

1. Doing a formal disclosure well

2. Modeling from other men that are empathic (accountability group, coach, therapist, etc.)

3. Story work / root work

4. Living with sobriety / integrity (acting out AND acting in)

5. Gratitude

6. Tilling the soil of your heart (for her)

Ultimately - empathy and intimacy go hand in hand.  As Jason said - intimacy is the antidote, at every turn.

We hope this is helpful for you guys!

We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us for Season #6.

• The two books that Jason recommended:  Abba’s Child by Brendan Manning and With by Skye Jethani

• Episode #6 is one you can also refer to for more on empathy - The Importance of Empathy (not Sympathy).

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