The Art of Manliness

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How to Turn a Boy Into a Man

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Jun 13, 2022

Guest

Jon Tyson

Jon Tyson, author of "The Intentional Father," shares his insights on raising sons with courage and character. He designed a six-year rite of passage for his son, starting with a significant dinner that marked a transition. Tyson discusses the importance of intentional parenting, embedding family narratives, and guiding boys to navigate adulthood. He emphasizes experiential learning and the five shifts of manhood to prepare young men for life’s milestones, urging fathers to create structured paths for their sons' growth.

01:10:50

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ADVICE

Intentional Rite of Passage

Brett McKay suggests intentionally planning a rite of passage for sons.
This helps guide them into manhood, something often lacking today.

insights

INSIGHT

The Missing Rite of Passage

Many men lacked a rite of passage and feel a void in their transition to adulthood.
They strive to provide this missing experience for their sons.

insights

INSIGHT

Impact of Absent Fathers

Research indicates boys without involved fathers face higher risks of negative outcomes.
These include poverty, behavioral problems, incarceration, and early sexual activity.

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Navigating Fatherhood and Rites of Passage

03:45 • 21min

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Narratives and Values for Young Men

25:13 • 9min

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Guiding Boys to Manhood

34:14 • 6min

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Guiding Boys into Manhood

40:07 • 17min

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Building Bonds: A Journey to Adulthood

57:13 • 17min

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Navigating Modern Masculinity: Resources for Fathers

01:14:01 • 2min

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#27

• Mentioned in 211 episodes

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Stephen R Covey

This book, first published in 1989, outlines seven habits that are designed to help individuals become more effective in their personal and professional lives. The habits are grouped into three categories: Private Victory (habits 1-3), Public Victory (habits 4-6), and Renewal (habit 7). The habits include being proactive, beginning with the end in mind, putting first things first, thinking win-win, seeking first to understand and then to be understood, synergizing, and sharpening the saw. Covey emphasizes the importance of personal integrity, effective time management, empathetic communication, and continuous self-improvement.

#2112

• Mentioned in 12 episodes

The Intentional Father

A Practical Guide to Raising Sons of Courage and Character

Jon Tyson

#595

• Mentioned in 31 episodes

The Power of Moments

Chip Heath

Dan Heath

In this book, Chip and Dan Heath explore why certain brief experiences can have a profound impact on our lives. They argue that our most memorable positive moments are dominated by four elements: elevation, insight, pride, and connection. The authors provide practical advice and numerous examples on how to engineer these moments, whether in professional settings, educational environments, or personal life. The book delves into the psychology behind why we remember certain experiences and how we can intentionally create more meaningful moments rather than leaving them to chance.

#4093

• Mentioned in 7 episodes

The way of men

Jack Donovan

The Way of Men is a book exploring masculinity and traditional gender roles. It delves into the challenges men face in modern society and offers insights into how men can live more fulfilling lives. The book emphasizes the importance of brotherhood, responsibility, and self-reliance. It challenges conventional notions of masculinity and encourages men to embrace their authentic selves. The Way of Men has sparked significant discussion and debate about masculinity and its role in society.

A lot of young men today struggle in finding their footing in adulthood. They feel lost, directionless, and unsure of who they are and how to confidently and competently navigate the world.

Part of the reason for this is that most young men today lack something which was once a part of nearly every culture in the world, but has now almost entirely disappeared: a rite of passage.

My guest today didn't want his son to flounder on the way to maturity, nor to miss out on having an initiation into manhood, so he set out to create a 6-year journey for him that would help him move from boy to man. His name is Jon Tyson, and he's the author of The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character. Today on the show, Jon unpacks the components of the years-long journey into manhood he created for his son, beginning with how he brainstormed those components by doing "The Day Your Son Leaves Home" exercise. We then discuss how old Jon's son was when he started his rite of passage and why it began with him having a "severing dinner" with his mom. We get into what his rite of passage consisted of, from the kickoff ceremony to the challenges, experiences, trips, and daily rituals Jon used to impart values and teach his son the "5 Shifts of Manhood." Jon shares how moving his son's focus from being a good man, to being good at being a man, helped him get remotivated to continue the process, why his rite of passage included a gap year after high school, and how Jon celebrated the end of his son's journey into becoming a man. We also discuss whether Jon did something similar with his daughter. We end our conversation with some key principles any dad can use to start intentionally helping their kids become well-rounded individuals who can confidently step out on their own and into the world.

Resources Related to the Podcast

AoM Article: The Importance of Fathers
AoM Article: The Importance of Male Rites of Passage
AoM Article: Male Rites of Passage From Around the World
AoM Article & Podcast: Man’s Need for Ritual
AoM Series on the origins, elements, and future of manhood
AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Begin With the End in Mind
AoM Article: The 3 Families Every Young Man Needs to Grow Up Well
James Hollis
AoM Article: Carry the Fire
Art of Manliness' Carry the Fire Zippo Lighter
AoM Article: What Is Manliness?
AoM Podcast #527 With Richard Rohr
The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact by Chip and Dan Heath
The Way of Men by Jack Donovan
AoM Podcast #49 With Jack Donovan
AoM Series on the Four Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
AoM Article: 100 Skills Every Man Should Know
AoM Article: 80+ Quotes on Men & Manhood

Connect With Jon Tyson

Primal Path
Jon on Twitter
Jon on IG

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