ERP 064: How To keep Your Relationship Strong (when she is more successful) – Part 2

In last weeks episode, How To Keep Your Relationship Strong (when she is more successful) – Part One, I discussed findings from several research studies that explore relationship dynamics between men and women when the female partner is more successful. I highly encourage you to check it out, so that you have a foundation for this weeks podcast episode.

Also, I provided the first two ways to strengthen your relationship when she is the breadwinner. You can check out this podcast episode here.

Here are the next 7 ways you can keep your relationship strong: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.

9 WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN SHE IS THE BREADWINNER: PART ONE (7 OF 9):

3. Know what role money plays in your relationship.

• What is the importance of money to you?
• Cultural values and norms will often influence your perspective. What beliefs have you picked up on about money and relationship?
• Is making more money associated with being more important, having more power, being more valuable, having more status, etc.?
• What matters most to you in life? What are your top five values in life?

4. Know what you can provide.

• What can you provide that will be of significant value to your partner and relationship? Typically, men want to provide what matters most to their female partner. (Alison Armstrong)
• What do you enjoy doing?
• What do you care about?
• What are your strengths?

5. Hold value for your partner and your relationship.

• Do you really appreciate your partner and what they offer and contribute to the relationship?
• Do you hold the quality of your relationship as a high priority?
• What would it be like to see your partner as a teammate – seeing your relationship as a team? "We both have our place on the team and that we both feel important and that we both feel valued. And we both honor each other's contribution to the relationship " Dr. Sheri Meyers
• How can you value the "we" in your relationship.

"In marriage, when we honor and celebrate each other, we're freed up to be the best people we can be." -Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

6. Know how you impact your partner.

• How do you participate in a dynamic with your partner?
• If women are afraid of emasculating a man, then they will tiptoe… Creating the dynamic that he can't handle it or baby him. "The more I trust him, then the more I rely on him, and the more I appreciate and am grateful for everything that he does contribute, the more manly he feels." Dr. Sheri Meyers
• How do you feel loved? How do you need to be loved?
• How do you show your partner love and care (i.e. deep listening, appreciation, play, and gratitude)?

7. Allow space for the masculine and feminine.

• "Although the Breadwinning Woman may appear to be this super independent, made-of-iron, can-take-on-anything woman worthy of a cape, many of us can't wait to take off the iron costume we wear all day long and have someone care for us emotionally, physically, and sexually. Come close and I will tell you a little secret… shhh: We actually just want to be taken care of, we want to surrender, we want someone else to plan, decide, execute and control… at least some of the time. If you are a breadwinning woman, your husband better offer more than healthy competition for external accomplishments; he better offer some heart, some soul, and some you know what." Sandra Shpilberg

8. Nurture the relationship connection.

• Now more than ever before, we marry for love and connection rather than for status or financial reasons.
• Therefore, our sense of emotional connection and bond is essential in relationship.
• How can you cultivate warmth and closeness with your partner?
• How can you foster more security in your connection?

9. Focus on the relationship partnership.

• How well do you and your partner work together?
• Can you collaborate and rely on each other?
• Can you negotiate mutually beneficial arrangements?
• Can you learn from your experience together, so that you can improve your partnership dynamics?

When difficulties arise in your relationship, you can work through the challenges to become stronger and closer as a couple.

MENTION:

• Smart Couples Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Creating a Rich Future for You and Your Partner, David Bach (book)
• How To Experience More Togetherness In Relationship With Leisa Peterson (podcast)
• Save Your Relationship By Understanding Your Attachment Needs (podcast)
• "Women Breadwinners: Less Satisfied in Marriage?" By Sandra Shpilberg(article)
• The Art of Love Series Relationship Series, 2014, "Bucking Traditional Roles in the name of love How to Navigate tensions when the woman is the breadwinner." With Alison Armstrong, Dr. Sheri Meyers, Evan Marc Katz, and Al Watts. (audio series)

TRANSCRIPT:

Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 064: How To Keep Your Relationship Strong (when she is more successful) – Part II.

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If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.