Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women 385: Are you in a sexless marriage? (ft. Jason Lange)
Some experts estimate that ~15% of marriages are sexless, while others put the number as high as 33% ("sexless relationship" defined as a couple having sex 10 times a year or fewer).
That's a lot of people.
Now let's talk about the stakes:
Does a sexless marriage generally mean a less fulfilling one? In a word, yes. According to researcher and associate professor Denis Donnelly in the New York Times, "Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being."
Plus, her research showed that folks in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those in sexually active ones.
So what do you do if you're in this position? How do you handle being in a sexless relationship or sexless marriage? Can you bring the sex back in -- repolarize the relationship?
Here, we work on answering questions like: "How do I bring up sex with my wife?" -- in Jason's words, “A lot of guys don’t know where to start because they don’t know where it’s coming from.”
And, "What do I do if my wife doesn't want to have sex with me?" -- or how to handle the sense that when she does, it's more of her feeling like "this is a thing I have to do for you to get you off my back."
It's a tender, vulnerable, and important subject. Let's dive in.
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Work with us
Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
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Memorable quotes:
- “It’s not just about the frequency of sex.”
- “My wife does give me her body, but that’s it. It’s a duty.”
- “For guys, the experience is, ‘Well, why don’t I just use a sex doll?’”
- “Men just shut down and become resentful.”
- “Sex is really just a form of communication.”
- “‘I want to feel her wanting me, wanting sex.’”
- “The more sex we’re having, the more sex we want to have.”
- “Sex is deeply entwined with our ability to open and feel connected.”
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Mentioned on this episode:
- DM 1: What if sex hurts for her? (her insider view on being closed off sexually)
- DM 196: The "invisible" relationship pattern that can impact everything (emotional neglect)
- DM 250: How do you re-polarize a relationship?
- DM 222: Are you using your woman for sex?
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