Whitney Miller: Having Great Sex & How to Map Your Vulva

Do you wonder how your sex life can improve our relationships– with others and with yourself–either in a monogamous, a polyamory, or an open relationship?

In this conversation with Whitney Miller, we talk about the dynamics of monogamous vs. polyamory relationship, we go deep into details of sexuality within relationships and we discuss a very interesting pleasure exploration technique of the vulva: the vulva mapping.

In her past polyamory experience, she shares what she learned about herself to be able to thrive in it, namely understand why she got jealous, why she got sad, and how she was able to cultivate meaningful relationships with women by having to constantly have vulnerable conversations which allowed her to truly love the other women. 

Often, relationships help us to open up a part of ourselves that needs to be exposed in order to heal and to know ourselves better: our thought processes, our patterns, and how we respond to challenges. Whitney tells us how deeply transformative this process was in her open relationship with Audrey Marcus and how that forced her to profoundly dive into herself.

She shares with us intimate details of her preferences with candid honesty, so if you are dating or looking to date women this could be a key to understanding what might arouse and please a woman before and during sex. And it’s not at all just about sex: asking the other person meaningful questions is likely to be a skill that enables them to open up. Whitney also tells us what are her own favourites questions, what she finds attractive in a man, and how playfulness is so important.

Whitney is a love, sex, and relationship coach: an expert in the realm of union between partners and sexuality. Former Miss United States and sports anchor Whitney Miller has found her true calling helping individuals and couples. Her experiential journey to self-mastery started 5 years ago with her well-publicized open relationship with her fiancé, Aubrey Marcus. Whitney has since joined forces with some of the leading scientists and researchers in the field, and now hosts talks and workshops around the world. 

What we discuss:

[00:04:47] Letting go of how Whitney thought life should be has been making her more open to change.

[00:05:50] Where Whitney's need for protecting herself comes from.

[00:07:09] What permitted the sensation of safety to let people in Whitney's life.

[00:08:34] Why the relationship with Aubrey was fundamental to Whitney's self-discovery.

[00:09:09] How we receive superpowers and faults from our parents and our relationships.

[00:10:42] Why Whitney thinks there is usefulness in suppressing emotions.

[00:11:48] Whitney's latest Ayuashca experience showed her to go over one fear in particular.

[00:14:39] Making it through life instead of living life: "If you let out what is within you, it will heal you. If you hold it in, it will destroy you".

[00:15:57] Qualities in a man that are attractive to Whitney.

[00:17:18] What was attractive in Aubry from Whitney's perspective.

[00:19:06] Why Whitney and Aubrey were sincere about the constraints of their polyamorous relationship.

[00:20:31] What Whitney feel she learned from her experience in a polyamorous relationship

[00:21:39] Is polyamory sustainable and does it have longevity?

[00:24:27] Whitney's present terms of relationship preferences.

[00:29:38] How does a man show he holds the qualities of stability and safety?

[00:32:11] Is it possible to hold a certainty about the relationship course?

[00:33:21] What is the process of stepping back and re-access in a relationship?

[00:35:59] Whitney's experience in relationships in which one partner goes through change and the other isn't

[00:38:07] What good sex