Better Sex 318: [Soapbox] Are you more attached to your partner's orgasm than they are?
Aug 28, 2025
Dive into the dynamics of intimacy as the host reveals how excessive focus on a partner's pleasure can stifle genuine connection. Listeners learn about the pitfalls of attachment to their partner's orgasm and the importance of understanding true desires in relationships. Practical tips emphasize slowing down, listening, and tuning into both sexual and non-sexual needs. Discover how relatable stories from clients illustrate the transformative power of letting go of expectations and fostering deeper intimacy.
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Attachment Can Create Pressure
- Being attached to a partner's orgasm can reveal expectations that create pressure and push them away.
- Jessa Zimmerman notes this attachment may stem from unchallenged beliefs about what sex 'should' be.
Higher-Desire Partner Example
- Jessa describes a higher-desire partner whose wife stopped pursuing pleasure and only did sex 'for him'.
- The partner kept asking what would turn her on while she remained disconnected from her own desire.
Orgasm As Ego Validation
- Attachment to orgasm can be ego-driven: 'If I can get you off, I must be a good lover.'
- Jessa points out some people simply equate sex with orgasm and haven't considered other possibilities.