The Battle That Changed Me: How To De-Escalate & Discipline #492
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Jun 22, 2025
Discover two powerful phrases that can transform your approach to discipline and de-escalation with children. Learn how recognizing a child's overwhelm can shift your perspective from defiance to understanding. Emphasize the importance of calm communication to strengthen parent-child relationships. Gain practical insights and strategies for navigating parenting challenges, especially with strong-willed children, fostering trust and cooperation in the process.
23:00
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Kirk's Escalation Experience
Kirk Martin shares how he used to escalate situations when his son yelled at his wife due to his own triggers and unresolved issues.
His critical responses often caused more upset, showing how well-meaning intentions can still harm relationships.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
De-escalate Before Discipline
Always de-escalate before disciplining your child to calm emotions and avoid unproductive confrontations.
Give your child time and space after upset moments, like inviting them to join an activity when ready.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Use 'When You're Ready' Phrase
Use the phrase "when you're ready" to give children a sense of control and reduce resistance.
Invite children to calming activities instead of demanding immediate apologies or behavior change.
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I don’t know how to describe this episode other than to say it is filled with several profound and practical insights and scripts that will change your family. It includes two phrases that work 99% of the time to de-escalate and discipline a defiant child…but by the end of the story, we discover he wasn’t really defiant, just overwhelmed. Like most of us as parents.
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