No One Told Us Episode 46: “I Feel Like My Life has Changed and Yours Hasn’t” with Erin & Stephen Mitchell
Jul 4, 2024
Erin and Stephen Mitchell, a dynamic duo of authors and couples counselors, explore the transformative effects of parenting on relationships. They share personal struggles post-baby and reveal how to manage resentment and connect amidst exhaustion. The conversation touches on intimacy after children and the impact of co-sleeping on marriages. With insights drawn from their book, 'Too Tired to Fight,' they provide tools for effective communication and navigating conflict, showing that even challenges can lead to deeper connections.
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Parenting Creates A New Relational Context
- Having kids creates a new context that changes how couples experience stress and connection.
- Stressed nervous systems cause 'stress communication' which produces most post-baby relationship problems.
Don't Ignore Resentment — Process It
- Expect resentment to appear and plan a process to address it instead of hoping it will vanish.
- Learn a repeatable way to talk about hurts so resentment doesn't stack up and derail the relationship.
Reframe Conflict As Connection Opportunity
- 'Too Tired To Fight' reframes conflict as an opportunity for connection rather than proof of failure.
- Constructive conflict can strengthen a couple when approached with curiosity and care.