SC 18 - How Therapist Bruce Tift Helped Me Have The Balls To Marry My Wife

Bruce was one of THE pivotal factors in helping me marry my wife before she slammed the door shut on me. Hear that story in this episode and why it’s so common for couples to struggle. Bruce offers a powerful frame for relationship and intimacy and makes the distinction between the developmental work we need to do, and the possibility that we are “already free” in relationship. Check it.

SHOWNOTES:

• How Jayson met Bruce [1:15]
• “I give [Bruce] credit for saving my marriage” – Jayson [2:30]
• Start of interview [3:50]
• How does ambivalence factor into a long-term relationship? [6:15]
• The interplay of the basic energies of separation and connection [8:30]
• Intimacy vs. Closeness [12:30]
• Bruce’s core philosophy [15:30]
• Relationship is like riding a bicycle…it’s all about balance [17:15]
• A good first step for couples stuck in an adversarial relationship – The practice of personal responsibility  [21:31]
• Why it’s important to let go of claiming that your partner is the cause of your difficult emotions [23:50]
• Bruce shares about his marriage [26:00]
• Bruce shares his story of becoming a therapist [31:00]
• What is a “successful relationship”? [38:00]
• Bruce shares how parenting has impacted his relationships and his life [42:15]
• Having kids is a real good practice in how willing are we to let another person just be who they are. [45:40]
• Sexual intimacy in a long-term relationship [45:50]
• Approaching sexuality as a disciplined practice [50:30]
• Bruce talks about personal responsibility [54:40]
• Bruce shares about his new book Already Free – [1:00:00]