121 Connecting with your own narcissistic parts: experiential exercise
Sep 18, 2023
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In this podcast, the hosts explore narcissism in a compassionate way. They address questions about narcissism and the dynamics of relationships involving borderline personality disorder and narcissistic tendencies. The episode includes an experiential exercise to connect with narcissistic parts and discusses the importance of self-love and fulfillment. It also explores the harmful effects of narcissism, navigating parenting challenges, and promoting understanding and compassion for narcissistic traits.
Acknowledging our own narcissism can make us more vulnerable to exploitation by another person.
Children of parents with borderline personalities are more likely to be attracted to narcissistic partners.
Approaching narcissistic parts with gentleness and compassion is important for healing and integration.
Deep dives
Connecting with Narcissistic Parts Inside
The podcast episode explores the topic of narcissism and how it impacts all individuals in their fallen human condition. The speaker emphasizes the importance of looking within and acknowledging our own narcissistic tendencies. They discuss the difficulty of recognizing narcissism within ourselves and the need for self-love and acceptance. The podcast also touches on the intentions behind narcissistic behaviors, often rooted in past experiences of shame and humiliation. The speaker emphasizes the importance of approaching these parts with gentleness and compassion, highlighting the need for safe and secure interactions. The episode concludes with an experiential exercise to connect with these narcissistic parts and offers guidance on meeting their needs through self-love and integration.
Understanding Narcissistic Dynamics in Relationships
The podcast delves into the dynamics of narcissism within relationships, particularly marriages. The speaker addresses questions about the connection between narcissism and the personalities of both partners, highlighting the common attraction between covert and overt narcissistic qualities. They also touch on the impact of growing up with a borderline parent and its potential correlation to choosing partners with narcissistic tendencies. Additionally, the speaker mentions an upcoming episode focusing on how to effectively work with narcissistic family members, providing hope for those navigating challenging relationships.
The Protective Nature of Narcissistic Parts
The episode highlights the protective aspect of narcissistic parts and their role in safeguarding vulnerable and wounded inner parts. The speaker explains that narcissistic tendencies emerge as a form of self-love, albeit disordered, as these parts try to shield individuals from shame and humiliation. However, they acknowledge that these behaviors can be harmful and emphasize the need for self-awareness and self-knowledge to address and integrate these parts. The speaker encourages loving acceptance of these parts and explores the fear and intentions behind their actions. They also discuss the importance of creating a safe and secure environment for healing and growth.
Building Self-Love and Authenticity
The podcast episode underscores the importance of self-love and authenticity in navigating narcissistic tendencies. The speaker invites listeners to connect with their innermost selves and recognize the good intentions behind narcissistic behaviors. They suggest that genuine love and acceptance from oneself, rather than seeking external affirmation, can provide a foundation for healing and growth. The episode also discusses the role of humility in acknowledging and addressing one's own narcissism, emphasizing the need for gentle compassion and kindness towards these vulnerable parts.
Understanding and Addressing Gaslighting
The speaker suggests that the next podcast episode will focus on gaslighting, a manipulative behavior often associated with narcissistic dynamics. They encourage listeners to share their questions and concerns about gaslighting and emphasize the importance of receiving support and validation in understanding and addressing this harmful behavior. The episode aims to provide a Catholic perspective on gaslighting, exploring its impact on relationships and personal well-being.
Today with our live audience, we start with 15 minutes of Q&A about narcissism addressing these questions: 1) Does acknowledging our own narcissism makes us more or less vulnerable to exploitation by another person? 2) Are children of parents with borderline personalities more likely to be attracted to narcissistic partners? 3)What is “healthy narcissism”? Then from the 15-minute mark to the 50-minute mark, we engage in an experiential exercise together to encounter and connect with parts of ourselves with narcissistic features. Afterward, we debrief and share our experiences addressing these topics and questions: 1) Can narcissistic approaches be helpful in certain situations or environments? 2) Is narcissism the result of too much self-love or too little? 3) How can we get normal needs for affirmation met in non-narcissistic ways? 4) Why is it important to be gentle with narcissistic parts? 5) Why do narcissistic parts often sense themselves to be aged 2, 6, or 13? 6) Why is there such a “rush” or dopamine “high” when narcissistic parts receive the admiration and idealization that they seek?
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