How To Stop People-Pleasing And Protect Your Peace | Lewis Howes
whatshot 9 snips
Oct 1, 2025
Discover the internal conflict that arises from people-pleasing as Lewis Howes shares his personal struggles. He reveals how seeking validation can diminish self-worth and suggests a powerful practice: saying no to regain energy. Lewis emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and evaluating whether your actions stem from genuine desire or the need for approval. He reframes courage as the ability to ask for support, encouraging listeners to reclaim their peace and prioritize their own needs.
06:33
forum Ask episode
web_stories AI Snips
view_agenda Chapters
menu_book Books
auto_awesome Transcript
info_circle Episode notes
question_answer ANECDOTE
Decades Of People-Pleasing
Lewis Howes spent decades saying yes to everything because he feared others' judgment and wanted to be liked.
That pattern created internal conflict, lowered his self-worth, and drained his energy.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Ask Before You Say Yes
Ask yourself before agreeing: am I doing this for me or for validation from others.
Practice saying no to one small thing today to protect your energy and peace.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Start Small With No
Say, 'No, I can't do that right now,' even if it feels scary to start building boundaries.
Reserve availability for commitments that bring you joy or peace, and decline draining requests.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
"It creates a war inside of you. It does not build self-worth. It brings down your worth." - Lewis Howes
Lewis opens up about spending decades trapped in a cycle of saying yes to everything - not because he wanted to, but because he feared what people would think if he didn't. The constant people-pleasing wasn't creating connection; it was creating an internal war that drained his energy and destroyed his self-worth. He breaks down the harsh truth: when you're doing things solely for validation or to be liked, you're not protecting your peace - you're giving it away. This isn't about obligations or genuine commitments you've made; it's about those draining requests from people who only want to take, the favors that leave you feeling empty, the yeses you give just to stay in someone's good graces. Lewis challenges the belief that courage means suffering alone, revealing instead that real courage is about having the strength to ask for support and set boundaries without guilt.
Lewis delivers a practical framework for reclaiming your energy and building genuine self-worth. He walks through the questions you need to ask yourself before saying yes: Am I doing this for me or for validation? Am I giving because I want to, or because I need to be liked? He introduces a simple but powerful practice - saying no to just one small thing today, even if it feels terrifying. The insight that "rejection of an opportunity is not a rejection of you" reframes how we think about boundaries entirely. Lewis reminds us that courage isn't the absence of fear - it's resistance to fear, mastery of fear. When you stop letting fear of rejection control your decisions, you finally create space for the peace and self-worth you've been searching for.
The Daily Motivation 
