What Happens When We Reach the Mid Life Clusterf*ck? Uncut with Eleanor Mills
Sep 3, 2024
auto_awesome
Eleanor Mills, an award-winning journalist and founder of the community ‘noon’, discusses her journey after losing her job at 49. She dives into the 'midlife clusterfuck' and the identity crisis many experience when their careers shift. Eleanor highlights gendered ageism, the importance of support among women, and the liberation found in midlife. They explore 'Queenagers' and redefine menopause, urging a transformation in how society views aging. Her insights offer hope, emphasizing that life is rich with possibilities beyond 50.
Eleanor Mills emphasizes that aging should be seen as an opportunity for reinvention and empowerment rather than a crisis of identity.
The media's portrayal of older women often perpetuates harmful stereotypes, highlighting the urgent need for authentic representation and storytelling.
Mills advocates for collective responsibility among women to redefine societal narratives around aging and foster solidarity against internalized competition.
Deep dives
Redefining Midlife
The conversation focuses on Eleanor Mills' experience of a significant life transition she encountered after being made redundant at the age of 49. Dubbed the 'middle life clusterfuck', this pivotal moment propelled her to reevaluate her identity and worth as she faced societal perceptions of aging. Eleanor discusses how the media tends to impose expiration dates on women, suggesting a diminishing value with age, which she passionately seeks to counteract. Rather than seeing this period as a crisis, Eleanor emphasizes it as an opportunity for reinvention and liberation, showcasing that life in one's 50s can be profoundly fulfilling.
Challenging Media Narratives
Eleanor critiques how mainstream media often prioritizes a narrow, male-centric view of women, particularly older women, often depicting them as less relevant or valuable. She recalls a specific incident while editing a magazine, where she fought to feature an iconic older actress on the cover instead of a younger version, highlighting the industry's reluctance to celebrate aging. Eleanor argues that this lack of representation contributes to a false narrative that older women have less to offer, urging for the inclusion of diverse female stories that showcase wisdom and strength in later life. By advocating for more authentic portrayals, Eleanor aims to shift the societal perception of what women can contribute as they age.
Empowerment Through Self-Acceptance
The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and recognizing the unique challenges that women face as they age. Eleanor acknowledges the internalized misogyny that often leads women to correlate their self-worth with youth and societal validation. Throughout her own journey, she learned to dismantle these damaging beliefs, leading to a more liberated and empowered perspective on aging. By sharing her evolution, she encourages others to embrace their journey and recognize that real value and beauty often emerge through experience, resilience, and self-compassion.
The Myth of an Expiration Date
Eleanor challenges the notion that women reach a 'Sell By' date, particularly in the context of success and societal approval, arguing that this narrative is deeply flawed and needs re-examining. Instead of viewing aging as a limitation, she highlights it as a ‘Queen Agerhood’, a vibrant phase filled with potential and discovery. This perspective reframes life after 50 as a time where women can fully embrace their identities, pursue passions, and find personal fulfillment. Eleanor passionately advocates for changing the cultural narrative around aging, inspiring younger generations to view aging as an exciting and powerful journey.
A Shift in Societal Perception
The conversation ultimately stresses the collective responsibility to shift societal narratives and value women of all ages. Eleanor notes that the stories and experiences of older women must be celebrated rather than hidden, encouraging a community of support and recognition among women. She highlights the importance of solidarity, silencing the internalized competition often fueled by patriarchal standards. By fostering a culture that embraces age diversity and values women for their wisdom and contributions regardless of age, Eleanor believes they can pave the way for a future where women are celebrated throughout every phase of life.
Eleanor Mills is an award winning journalist, editor and broadcaster who has taken a bit of a pivot in her mid life by creating a community called ‘noon’. At 49, Eleanor was abruptly made redundant from her role as the editor of the Sunday Times Magazine and chair of women in journalism.
She lost her sense of purpose, and her identity - and her family lost its main source of income. She felt washed up and burnt out; like everything which had defined her life for the last 25 years was gone. But then she noticed something: she wasn’t alone.
Today we are going to unpack what Eleanor calls the midlife cluster fuck, our perceived value as we age and a lot of the motivators and values that we hold as career driven women.
We spoke about:
Identity in ‘success’ and our jobs
What happens when that identity is shattered
Real life ‘Succession’ after working for Rupert Murdoch for 23 years
Gendered ageism in our culture vs what we truly have to look forward to
‘Queenagers’ - the freedom of becoming the woman you always wanted to be
Power is fleeting when it’s based off of fecundity and fuckability
The double edged sword of speaking about menopause; exposure vs it being weaponised against up
How Eleanor has helped so many women realise that there’s much more to come past 50
