22 — An Unexpected Gender Evolution: A Conversation with Lauren

“Lauren” is a 32-year-old lesbian who has moved with ease across the gender spectrum over the course of her lifetime. Lauren offers a positive story about how being gender non-normative and having a complicated gender experience can be a pleasant and interesting experience. Cautioning against the heavy and urgent discussions about medicalizing gender expression, Lauren wonders if we can become more playful and even joyful about gender?

Links:

Lauren’s Blog: Theanxiousskeptic.wordpress.com/

 

Extended Notes

• A little bit about Lauren and her experience with gender.
• The way our society is handling trans children is completely different from when Lauren grew up.
• Lauren feels a bit betrayed by the LGBTQ community.
• What was Lauren’s childhood like?
• How did Lauren’s family deal with her and her older sister’s masculine gender?
• Can you be gay and Mormon?
• Lauren was always the good child and her older sister was the problem masculine child. So it threw everyone for a loop when they found out Lauren was a lesbian, and not her sister.
• When Lauren dressed in drag, she felt much more comfortable in her own body.
• Men’s clothing was just easier to understand and when Lauren took on a more butch persona, it was a lot easier for her to date.
• Lauren was a butch lesbian for about 10 years before switching back to a more “feminine” look.
• In Lauren’s mind, being butch is almost like a third gender.
• At one point, Lauren identified as trans.
• The trans community has really affected the way lesbians see themselves. Lauren knows several people in same-sex relationships who have identified as trans at one point in time in her friend group.
• When it came to having children, how did Lauren and her wife decide who should have a child?
• A lot of Lauren’s friends who were butch were transitioning, either to a more feminine persona or trans. And she felt like she could not grieve this sense of loss. She just had to be happy for her friends.
• When random people were shouting slurs at Lauren and her wife, it only really started to bother her as she got older and was going to become a parent.
• What’s it like being a mother?
• Eleven-year-olds are being asked if they want to preserve their fertility. It’s crazy.
• Lauren has gone through many different gender identities and went on to have children. She gets fired up and passionate when young children are forced to “choose.”
• We have to think about the long-term well-being of children and teenagers first. Not our politics.
• Can we be more playful with our gender? Why do we have to always pick a side?

This podcast is partially sponsored by ReIME, Rethink Identity Medicine Ethics:

Rethinkime.org

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