Stella O’Malley and Sasha Ayad are two therapists interested in how the concept of gender is impacting our culture and shaping our society. For nearly a decade, we've been exploring sex and gender and helping patients and families impacted by gender issues. As we've dug into the shifting concepts of identity, gender, and transition, we felt unsatisfied by clichés, mental health platitudes, and modern gender jargon.Have you ever thought there's got to be more to all this trans stuff than political slogans? Well, we're right there with you. Since 2020, on our podcast, Gender: A Wider Lens, we've discussed all things trans with brilliant guests, including academic philosophers, journalists, doctors, therapists, trans people, detrans people, parents, and many others. In hundreds of conversations, we've tried to hold a spirit of honesty and compassion while staying grounded in reality and sanity.After four years of creating this podcast, we're shifting gears into our Substack only Live and Unfiltered events. Once a month, you can now join us on Substack for discussions about current events in the gender world and analysis of your favorite episodes of Gender: A Wider Lens. Grab your coffee or cocktail and hang out with us in our new live and unrecorded private sessions.Don't worry, our entire huge archive of episodes isn't going anywhere. You can still find us on all major podcast platforms, and you can watch us on YouTube and look at helpful playlists that organize past episodes so you can find exactly what you're looking for. But our main hub continues to be Substack, where you can listen to four years’ worth of free episodes, or become a paid subscriber to join our new monthly, Live and Unfiltered events.Our paid Substack membership is also the only place to access over 100 premium episodes featuring answers to listener questions and bonus content with our guests. We'd love for you to come and say hi, drop us a question, or tell us what episodes you'd like us to analyze. So join us on Substack. As we look at gender, from a wider lens. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Sasha and Stella reflect on four transformative years exploring gender identity and the cultural landscape. They discuss the impact of key controversies and significant episodes, emphasizing the importance of open dialogue. Exciting plans for interactive live events are unveiled, promising deeper engagement with listeners. The duo highlights personal stories and various experiences, including detransitioning, while looking forward to their upcoming resources. This finale captures their journey and the evolving understanding of gender discourse.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.comWhile healthcare is expected to be guided by evidence-based practice and individualized patient care, there seems to be a growing perception that some medical professionals may be more focused on advancing ideological influence rather than prioritizing individualized patient care.The gender-affirming model of care functions as a streamlined path toward medical transition, often without sufficient psychological evaluation or exploration of alternatives. Many medical providers appear to follow a predetermined course rather than carefully assessing each patient’s unique circumstances. This raises serious ethical concerns about whether patients—particularly minors—are receiving the thorough, cautious care they deserve.Additionally, the reluctance to critically discuss or debate aspects of gender medicine suggests that the field has become entangled with broader political movements. In some cases, dissenting voices, including those of detransitioners, have struggled to be heard, as their experiences challenge dominant narratives about gender-affirming care.“It's sad that so many more parents I feel would speak out if it weren't so stigmatized to question anything related to child transition. And it makes me really sad because I know my parents have a lot they wish they could say and they just can't. And even if they did, they would be attacked and called liars, which is really sad to me.”In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Clementine discusses the societal and medical influences that shaped her transition, expressing concern about the growing politicization of gender medicine. While she supports the right of adults to pursue body modifications, she argues that irreversible procedures affecting bodily function should be limited to those who are fully mature and capable of making such significant decisions. She describes how stopping testosterone significantly improved her mental health, suggesting a link between high testosterone levels and psychosis in women. And she reflects on the role her family and partner played in her detransition, highlighting the importance of having someone who saw her as a person beyond identity labels.Watch our full length episode with Clementine Breen: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-204For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Sasha and Stella welcome Clementine Breen, a 20-year-old young woman who detransitioned after undergoing rapid medicalization as a child. Clementine was a patient of Dr. Johanna Olson-Kennedy, one of the most prominent advocates for pediatric gender medicine. Beginning at age 12, she was placed on puberty blockers, prescribed testosterone, and underwent a double mastectomy—all by the age of 14.In this episode, she shares her story, shedding light on the devastating consequences of fast-tracked gender-affirming care. Clementine discusses how following her surgery, she experienced severe mental health struggles, including dissociation, self-harm, and a suicide attempt, yet clinicians remained focused solely on continuing her transition despite her worsening mental status. Clementine shares how, years later, proper therapy allowed her to uncover deeper psychological and childhood issues, exposing the failure of superficial gender-affirming care to address underlying trauma.This conversation exposes the dangerous flaws in the gender medicine model and the lack of psychological evaluation for vulnerable youth. Clementine’s experience underscores the failures of the pediatric gender medical establishment, and the urgent need for accountability in a system that prioritizes affirmation over comprehensive care.For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-204 Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  To learn more about our sponsors, visit:Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  Genspect at https://genspect.org/  This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe   This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.comThe DSM diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria are rooted in outdated sex-based stereotypes, reinforcing rigid and superficial notions of what it means to be male or female. These criteria often emphasize preferences in clothing, activities, and playmates, implying that natural variations in a child’s behavior may signal a fundamental misalignment between their gender identity and biological sex.Historically, gender nonconformity in children was recognized as a common and unremarkable aspect of personality and development. However, cultural shifts and the rise of social media have amplified stereotypes, leading many to pathologize behaviors that once fell within the broad spectrum of normal childhood expression. A boy who enjoys dolls or a girl who prefers rough-and-tumble play is now more likely than ever to be viewed through a diagnostic lens that suggests “misalignment with their sex” rather than an expansion of what it means to be a boy or a girl.In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Dr. Marieke den Ouden examines how the DSM’s shift from “sex” to “gender” has introduced diagnostic ambiguity, increasing the risk of over-diagnosing children based on nonconformity to traditional gender roles. Highlighting inconsistencies across international definitions, she warns of the legal and policy ramifications of vague gender identity standards, particularly for women’s rights and medical ethics. She presents a critical yet measured perspective, calling for greater clarity and scientific integrity. She advocates for a re-evaluation of gender dysphoria diagnosis to ensure that criteria are based on objective, measurable factors rather than social perceptions of gender roles, ensuring that medical and psychological interventions serve those in genuine need without unnecessarily pathologizing diverse expressions of personality and identity.Watch our full length episode with Marieke den Ouden: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-203For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Sasha and Stella welcome Dr. Marieke den Ouden, a medical biologist and psychologist, about pediatric gender medicine in the Netherlands. While the Dutch Protocol is believed to ensure thorough mental health evaluations, Marieke reveals inconsistencies in its application. She discusses a new survey gathering input from extended family on a child’s mental health and gender identity, raising questions about bias in reporting. The conversation also explores the clinical foundations of gender medicine, examining how early researchers with backgrounds in disorders of sexual development (DSDs) shaped the field. Their search for a biological basis of gender identity—whether in hormones, chromosomes, or brain structures—led to a medicalized approach to gender distress. This framing has contributed to the widespread push for medical interventions, fast-tracking youth into irreversible treatments despite a lack of clear biological justification.This episode presents fresh debates and critical insights into the ethical dilemmas surrounding pediatric gender transition and the protocols involved.For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at  https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-203 Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  To learn more about our sponsors, visit:Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  Genspect at https://genspect.org/  This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe   This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

The conversation delves into how societal views on gender identity have transformed over the years. It highlights the complexity of gender dysphoria and raises critical questions about medical interventions. The discussion also explores the impact of social media on self-identification and the increase in minors identifying as transgender. Additionally, there's an examination of the nuances of nonbinary identities and the diverse motivations behind individuals’ gender journeys.

Sasha and Stella welcome Jessi, a 69-year-old detransitioned butch lesbian, who shares her extraordinary life story. Jessi’s journey challenges misconceptions about detransitioners, confronting the common assumption that they are predominantly young people who transitioned in adolescence. Instead, her experiences shine a light on older individuals who made these life-altering decisions in vastly different cultural and social contexts. Her life as a gay rights advocate, shaped by threats and hardships, reveals the complexities behind her decision to transition during a time when living openly as a gender non-conforming lesbian carried significant risks.This episode offers a compelling exploration of the varied paths of detransitioners, and provides a thoughtful reflection on the broader social and psychological complexities of navigating life outside traditional gender norms.For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-202.Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  To learn more about our sponsors, visit:Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  Genspect at https://genspect.org/  This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe   This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

In this episode, former Democratic State Representative Shawn Thierry reflects on her role in advocating for Texas Senate Bill 14 (TX SB14), which raised the minimum age for gender transition procedures to 18. Despite sharing concerns about the medicalization of minors with her fellow Democratic colleagues, Shawn was warned that her seat would be at stake for going on the record with her position and voting in favor of the bill. Her steadfast commitment to integrity led her to take a stand, even though it ultimately cost her re-election. Shawn discusses the two-year research process that shaped her decision, the personal risks she faced, and the pressures she encountered from within her own party. Throughout the conversation, she highlights the importance of principled leadership, unwavering dedication to doing what is right, and standing firm in the face of political and social pressures.For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-201 Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  To learn more about our sponsors, visit:Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  Genspect at https://genspect.org/  This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe   This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Navigating a child's gender dysphoria brings profound emotional challenges for parents. Feelings of helplessness and confusion often arise amidst rapid medical changes. Self-care is highlighted as essential for maintaining clarity while supporting children. The importance of building a supportive community is emphasized, providing necessary emotional sustenance. Finally, balancing compassion with boundaries is key, as parents must listen to their child's experiences while staying true to their guiding role.