228. Duty vs. Desire in Marriage - A Conversation with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
Aug 10, 2024
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In this engaging discussion, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a renowned therapist specializing in relationship and sexuality counseling, shares her insights on marriage dynamics. She explores the transition from passion to duty, emphasizing how cultural narratives can impact intimacy. Jennifer introduces the concept of Eros as a divine longing for deeper connection, advocating for honest communication and vulnerability to rekindle relationships. Her practical advice and fresh perspectives offer listeners valuable tools for nurturing love and personal growth.
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife emphasizes the importance of open dialogues about sexuality within families to foster healthier relationships and self-acceptance.
The concept of Eros energy, characterized by deep longing and connection, is essential for rekindling passion and intimacy in long-term marriages.
Finlayson-Fife highlights the need for individuals in faith communities to embrace their sexual identities without shame, promoting personal growth and acceptance.
Deep dives
Engaging Conversations about Sex
The discussion highlights the importance of addressing the topic of sex openly and honestly, particularly in the context of family and faith. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife explains that having these conversations is crucial for both parents and children, as it shapes their understanding and attitudes toward sexuality. She emphasizes that many individuals struggle with their sexual identities, often grappling with cultural narratives that create confusion and shame regarding natural inclinations. By encouraging transparency and education, families can foster healthier relationships and greater acceptance of sexuality.
Enhancing Interaction at Restore
The event, Restore, aims to improve participant engagement through interactive sessions and meet-and-greet opportunities with speakers and authors. Organizers plan to incorporate more intimate settings where attendees can ask questions and connect with presenters, thereby fostering a sense of community. Considering feedback from previous years, efforts have been made to create a more enriching atmosphere that allows for personal connections and collaborative discussions. This shift is expected to amplify the overall experience and make it more impactful for participants.
Eros Energy in Relationships
Finlayson-Fife delves into the concept of Eros energy as a vital force in personal relationships, characterized by deep longing and the pursuit of connection. She asserts that many couples experience a decline in this energy over time, often shifting from passion to a sense of duty. Through her work, she stresses the significance of vulnerability and honest communication in rekindling this vital energy, which is essential for a fulfilling sex life and emotional connection. By embracing their desires and confronting fears, individuals can rejuvenate their relationships and deepen their bonds.
The Impact of Authenticity on Desire
In her therapeutic practice, Finlayson-Fife observes that many individuals struggle with issues of desire due to societal pressures and self-denial. Through sharing stories of couples like Katie and Eric, she illustrates how feelings of obligation can overshadow genuine desire, leading to a disconnect in intimacy. She advocates for breaking free from these patterns by encouraging individuals to confront their own truths and embrace their authentic selves. This transformation often leads to a renewed sense of desire and an enriched sexual experience.
Navigating Sexual Self-Acceptance
The conversation explores the challenges faced by individuals within faith communities regarding sexual self-acceptance. Finlayson-Fife points out that fear-based approaches to sexuality can create internal conflict and hinder personal growth. She highlights the need for a shift toward a more compassionate understanding of sexual feelings, promoting the idea that sexual thoughts and desires are normal parts of being human. By fostering acceptance and a growth mindset, individuals can navigate their sexual identities with confidence and embrace their whole selves.
This week, we're thrilled to welcome back Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a renowned therapist specializing in relationship and sexuality counseling within the Latter-day Saint community. We’re super excited that Jennifer has a new book coming out this year that Faith Matters is publishing, and she’ll also be joining us in person soon for Restore.
In our conversation, we explore some of the early themes from Jennifer’s book, including the shift many couples experience from passion to duty in marriage. Jennifer shares some powerful stories and experiences based on what she’s seen in her work with couples, including how common cultural narratives among religious people can diminish what Jennifer calls the "magnetic energy of Eros" in relationships.
We dive into the concept of Eros as a divine longing for deeper connection, not just sexual, but spiritual and personal. This Eros energy, for Jennifer is the the energy of adventure, attraction, agency, and feeling fully alive. To rekindle that Eros energy in lives and relationships, Jennifer emphasizes the importance of honest communication, vulnerability, and personal integrity. She offers profound insights on how to face our fears and embrace the uncertainties of life and love.
This conversation is packed with practical advice and fresh perspectives that can help anyone deepen their relationships and personal growth. We’re incredibly grateful for Jennifer's wisdom and are really looking forward to her book's release. Now, let's jump into our conversation with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife.
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