There is a pervasive stigma and shame surrounding being single in your 20s, fueled by societal pressures and expectations.
Wanting a relationship is a natural human desire, but it's important to maintain self-awareness and not settle for the wrong person or relationship.
Deep dives
The Stigma of Being Single
In this podcast episode, the host discusses the stigma of being single, particularly in one's 20s. The speaker highlights the societal pressure to conform to the expectation of finding a partner and settling down, and the internalized shame that comes with being single. The episode explores the psychological and societal factors that contribute to the stigma, such as gender norms, cultural expectations, and media portrayals. The host emphasizes the importance of understanding one's own desires and healing process, and challenges the notion that being single is inherently flawed or lacking. Additionally, the episode highlights the benefits and value of singlehood, including personal growth, fulfilling friendships, and independence.
The Craving for Partnership
The podcast delves into the natural human desire for romantic partnership and explores the psychological and biological reasons behind it. The host explains that wanting a relationship does not mean that one is abandoning themselves or giving into societal pressure. The speaker discusses the innate human need for belongingness and the comfort and security that partnerships can provide. However, it is also emphasized that there are other aspects of life, such as deep friendships and personal fulfillment, that can fulfill this need for belongingness. The episode encourages listeners to recognize their own desires and standards, and to approach relationships with a sense of self-awareness and healing.
Choosing Healing and Standards
The podcast addresses the idea of healing and self-improvement before pursuing a romantic relationship. It discusses the importance of understanding one's triggers, patterns of behavior, and past experiences in order to avoid self-sabotage and codependency. The host suggests that while complete healing is not necessary, awareness of one's own vulnerabilities and standards can lead to healthier connections. The episode also highlights the significance of maintaining personal standards and not settling for the wrong person or relationship out of societal pressure. It emphasizes that being single and creating a fulfilling life on one's own is better than being in an unhappy or unfulfilling relationship.
Valuing Singlehood and Overcoming Stigma
The podcast emphasizes the value and beauty of being single and challenges the societal narrative that portrays relationships as the ultimate source of happiness and fulfillment. The speaker discusses research findings that suggest single people engage in healthier lifestyle choices, have diverse social connections, and experience lower levels of credit card debt. The episode explores the impact of media and cultural influences in perpetuating the stigma of singleness. It encourages listeners to recognize and challenge their own perceptions and internalized beliefs about being single, and to cherish the unique experiences and opportunities that singlehood can offer.
Being single has never been more common, with more people being single than ever before in history. And yet, we still experience a great degree of social and internal stigma, and even shame, around our relationship status. From the comments of family or friends saying that "you'll find someone soon", to the movies where marriage and partnership is the happy ending, sometimes we feel the need to settle in order to be happy or live up to societies expectations. In today's episode we explore the psychology behind this - from gender schema theory, to the scarcity effect, media psychology, identity fusion, and the hidden benefits of our single years. We also discuss whether it's wrong to want a relationship and whether we need to be fully healed before dating again? The answer is, it's complicated. Listen now!