This podcast discusses how to handle a toddler's screaming and demanding behavior. The host provides advice on setting boundaries, avoiding reinforcing negative behavior, and encouraging emotional expression. They explore different scenarios and strategies for effectively communicating with a toddler.
18:01
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Quick takeaways
When a toddler screams and cries for what they want, it's important to give it to them calmly, acknowledging their emotions.
During a tantrum, a child's demands are often not the true issue, and it's important to allow them to feel and process their emotions without giving in to specific demands.
Deep dives
Scenario 1: Understanding and accepting emotions
In the first scenario, the podcast discusses how a child at 18 months may not be able to fully express their needs, leading to screaming and crying for things they want. In this case, it is recommended to give them what they're asking for, but at a calm pace without getting overwhelmed by their emotions. The podcast emphasizes that it's safe for the child to have these tantrums and that it's a normal developmental stage.
Scenario 2: Allowing the child to release emotions
The second scenario addresses situations where a child demands things in the midst of a tantrum. The podcast advises not to give in to these demands, as the child is not looking for specific items, but rather needs to release their emotions. The parent is encouraged to acknowledge their child's demands while understanding that the demands themselves are not the true issue. By allowing the child to feel and process their emotions, the tantrum will naturally come to an end.
Scenario 3: Setting boundaries and not giving in
In the third scenario, the podcast highlights the importance of not giving in to a child's demands when the parent needs to set limits or say no. Giving in to demands in this situation can send the message that the child can persist and get what they want through tantrums. The podcast stresses the need to teach children that it's okay to experience disappointment and frustration and that tantrums are a part of normal development. By calmly setting boundaries and not rescuing the child from their emotions, parents help children build resilience and emotional self-control.
Janet responds to the parent of a toddler who says her son “cries, whines, and screams for everything he wants or needs.” She’s not sure how to respond. Sometimes she tries to calm him down, which tends to makes things worse, and sometimes she just gives in. She wants to set boundaries but doesn’t know how to do it in a way that he will understand without setting off a tantrum. This mom feels she’s in a no-win situation and would like Janet's advice about how she should react to his loud, emphatic requests.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio.
Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).