Holiday Stress, Family Rules, and What to Do About Them

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Holiday plans rarely fall apart over turkey—they crack at the fault lines of family rules, nervous system triggers, and the pressure to keep traditions intact while raising small kids. We take you inside a relatable case with Hunter and Manu, whose baby’s bedtime collides with Grandma’s set-in-stone dinner time, and show how a small scheduling issue becomes painfully personal. Along the way, we unpack why these conversations feel “cellular,” how generational roles like don’t challenge the matriarch get carried into adult partnerships, and why safety can mean opposite things to two people who love each other.

We dig into the hidden drivers: the urge to protect beloved rituals, the fear of losing what felt like home, and the way partners polarize—one minimizing the hard, the other minimizing the good. You’ll hear a clear framework to calm the room before you fix the plan, plus a simple script to validate effort, name a concrete need, invite collaboration, and make a small ask without heat. We also talk about presenting as a team, giving elders the chance to surprise you, and building memories not just from events but from how you treat each other while planning them.

If you’ve ever argued about a start time and ended up questioning each other’s character, this conversation is your reset. Expect practical language you can borrow today, a reframe for navigating extended family with less rigidity and more curiosity, and a path to align on shared hopes even when answers are no. If this helped, follow the show, leave a quick rating, and share it with a friend who’s bracing for holiday negotiations—we’d love to hear the tradition you’d tweak first.

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