Conversations from the Heart #124 - When You’re Doing All The Emotional Labor
In this week's conversation, Vanessa brings forward the pain of a friendship that feels increasingly one-sided. Together, we explore the difference between situational limits and structural limits in relationships, how to trust the “data” we receive when others shut down, and the grief that comes with realizing we may be doing too much emotional labor.
We explore how to discern when to keep engaging, when to step back, and how to communicate desires for mutuality without blame. We also look at why some people can talk the talk of empathy yet still struggle to walk it in relationships. And, how to honor our own boundaries when reciprocity is missing.
Listener Takeaways
•Learn how to interpret someone’s emotional shutdowns as information about capacity rather than a reflection on your delivery.
•Recognize the signs of over-functioning in friendships and how to stop carrying all the emotional labor.
•Practice asking direct but compassionate questions that clarify whether mutuality is truly present.
•Understand the developmental stages of NVC practice and why some people can use the tools for their own needs but not yet offer reciprocity.
•Embrace grief as a necessary step when relationships aren’t mutual, while keeping your heart open to future possibilities.
For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.
Here are more ways to connect with me: