Healthy Wealthy & Smart 600: Relinde Moors: 5 Myths About Limiting Beliefs That Keep Entrepreneurs Stuck
In this episode, Founder of the Elevate to Thrive Academy, Relinde Moors, talks about self-limiting beliefs and entrepreneurship.
Today, Relinde talks about how our inner work can determine our business success, and how to identify limiting beliefs before they take hold. What are 5 limiting beliefs that keep us stuck?
Hear about ways to change limiting beliefs, how our thoughts impact our beliefs, and get Relinde’s advice to her younger self, all on today’s episode of The Healthy, Wealthy & Smart Podcast.
Key Takeaways
- “You can shift a belief in a moment what has taken a lifetime to build.”
- “If you are feeling a desire to change that story in some way, you actually can.”
- “The thought creates a feeling or emotion, and that emotion creates an action.”
- “The thoughts, in the end, creates the result, not the circumstance.”
- “If you have the vision or the idea or the feeling or the impulse, that is the thing to follow.”
More about Relinde Moors
Relinde Moors is the founder of the Elevate to Thrive Academy. Elevate to Thrive helps vision-driven coaches and experts make more impact and money, by elevating their energy, story, and sales.
Her clients have turned their freelance work into a multiple 6-figure thriving business, changed to 3-day workweeks while doubling their revenue, and moved to their dream country with their now 100% location independent online empire.
Her signature approach comes down to creating a clear and simplified business strategy and elevating your subconscious beliefs to support you goals.
Relinde lived and worked worldwide and recently found her way back home to a beautiful little ‘castle’ in a Dutch forest.
Suggested Keywords
Healthy, Wealthy, Smart, Entrepreneurship, Limiting Beliefs, Vision, Strategy, Myths,
Resources
5 Myths About Limiting Beliefs that Keep Entrepreneurs Stuck.
How to Assemble a Mental Superhero Team to Realize Your Dreams.
To learn more, follow Relinde at:
Website: https://relindemoors.com
Facebook: Relinde Moors
LinkedIn: Relinde Moors
Instagram: @relindemoors
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Read the Full Transcript Here:
00:02
Hi, are you there? Got it. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. Hi, Melinda. Welcome to the podcast. I am so happy to have you on as a guest. We've been trying to do this for a while. So I'm really excited. Thanks for coming on.
00:19
Yes, thank you for having me. I'm really happy to be here. Finally.
00:22
Yes. And our connection is we did Selena Sue's impact accelerator in 2020. I believe it was, because it was right during the beginning of the pandemic. And so we spent nine months together, I think, right? Was it nine months, six months, nine months was a long time. So it was really a wonderful group of women led by Selena and her team. And Linda was one of those wonderful women. And I'm really excited to have you here now. And we are going to talk about some limiting beliefs that we may have as entrepreneurs that keep us stuck that don't allow us to move forward. But before we get to those nuggets, let's talk about how you came to realize that business success was highly dependent on the inner work we're willing to do. So I'll kick it over to you.
01:23
Yeah, great. Okay, so a little bit of my background, I studied dance and theater. So I actually worked as a choreographer as a dancer for like, 17 years, and I have my own dance company. And, and I thought that that was going to be what I would be doing my whole life, until things just changed. And I ended up going for a holiday to Bali. And in that holiday, a lot changed. And a lot happened. Long story short, I decided to quit my dance company. And I decided that I wanted to start more of a business of my own and an online business. And I ended up staying in Bali. So I got a little job there in a local yoga school teaching yoga and teaching contemporary dance, making very little money, because that was in rupee, us. And you need a lot of rupees to go around. So I could just maintain my living there, I was living on my savings, and I was making there. And in the meantime, I was learning more about business. Because even though when I look back, I wasn't an entrepreneur before that. I really didn't know that in a way that was just artistic. That was my focus. So it was learning about entrepreneurship, about online business, I found out how to do things I learned all the techniques started to create online courses, that all the things but it didn't really take off. And in that time on Bali, I took a course on limiting beliefs, it was specifically on that topic. And in that course, I at one point said to the teacher, listen, I need to really take a break because I'm working with a business coach, and I need to write my about page and I need to write all these things. And I have been working on it for days and days and days. And I don't seem to get it and I need to spend time and she said, that's okay, you can take the afternoon off. But why don't we look at the beliefs that are in the way of you just writing them. And she tested beliefs. And I remember there were beliefs like, I am a leader, I'm an expert. I I know who I am, I know what I want to do things like that. And some of those beliefs and I say tested actually have to explain that. We tested that with muscle testing with a Kinesiology technique. And she did that. And they were like testing as a no. So we worked on the beliefs and right after I said, Okay, I'm gonna sit down and write is about page and I just wrote it. I got it out. And that felt really good showed it to my business coach. And about like, two weeks later, I started to make so much more money. I literally made $15,000 In two weeks, which was totally surreal for me. And from then on, just something clicked in my head, I was okay, I needed to shift certain beliefs to have a breakthrough in a way to put myself out there and actually run a business and make money in a healthy and empowering way.
04:33
And what were the beliefs that were holding you back? What did you have to step over?
04:39
Yeah. I mean, fairly, honestly, a big belief that I found that I didn't know wasn't in because these beliefs live in your subconscious. So they often feel very big and dramatic, I would say. But there was a belief that I found that was I'm a failure, which was also related to me as because in the Netherlands, I was having a good career as a choreographer, my dance company against all odds was touring in the Netherlands and, and even abroad. And I was quitting that, but I felt I'm a failure, I'm like a failure, if I do that, because I didn't become this artist, or I'm gonna always feel at this business thing, I can never make so much money. So that were the kind of beliefs that I was mainly battling. And, and that and that felt deep, that felt really painful. It was very confronting to look at that. And to, to see that and so we did all the work around it. We'll get to that a little bit. Maybe later on, but there's just events in life that create those beliefs. So all of that came up. And I had to work through pretty emotional things to really let them go and have the change happen, because those beliefs changed.
05:59
Yeah. And now let's talk about those limiting beliefs. So there are a lot of myths kind of swirling around about some limiting beliefs that might keep us stuck. So why don't we dive in? I think there's five I'm sure there's 50. If there's five, right. But we'll take maybe some common ones. So let's, let's talk about number one.
06:26
So one is that a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking? And I don't I don't agree with that it does. It's not for that song on repeat. Because very often, we don't even know what are those beliefs, we think now I think I'm good enough, I think I'm good enough the way I am, right? And then when you look at the subconscious mind, it might not actually deep down believe that. Or I've worked with people, even really successful business people that make millions, and, and they have built so much success in their life. And I've worked through that. And they have, you know, the cars and the house, and they have the success. And we worked and we found beliefs around confidence. Like again, like the kind of I'm not good enough beliefs, or I'm not confidence, I actually don't know. This only can cut. And, and what so what seemed is that you can have this external reality of really success and being confident and being all the things. But then the belief doesn't have to support that. And then it even seems that this belief of I'm not successful, or I'm not confident, so I'm not good enough, actually became a motivator. A drive to always work harder to always do better. So it becomes it's another reason for the for the subconscious mind to not let go of that belief is like, hey, we get a lot out of that. Mm
08:01
hmm. Yeah. Especially if it becomes a driving force, you think, well, this is a good thing that I think or believe this, because it's driving me to where I am now. And then so then the question is, Is it harmful to get rid of that belief? Or what would happen if if that belief were to change if that's your motivating factor?
08:22
Yeah, when I work with my people, like in the method that I use, really, literally tell the brain? I mean, we will look for like, what are those benefit benefiting factors that came from that limiting belief? What are the good things and often Yes, motivation, or I'm connected, you know, other people like me, if I don't have I'm not so successful, I play a little small, and really liked and loved. And, and those are good things. And it's good to be connected to other people and to be humble even if you want that. But you don't need the limiting belief for that. And we will literally tell the brain, you can be successful and still be liked and loved and still be a really good person. And you know, you can have all those good things. I'm thinking of a woman I worked with, and it's a really clear example. She had this limit of she had her own business, and she was making about $5,000 a month. And she really felt like a limit there. Like, really like every time I go above that I get really uncomfortable. I do something to have a be relaxed the next month, she would even sometimes get physically sick. And I said, Okay, let's look at the belief. And what turned out is that in her life, in many different ways, she had learned that it's really, that you become a bad person if you make a lot of money. And she had worked before that for oil and gas companies and had stopped that because she felt my values just don't align with that. But it was over Ever in her life, it was reinforced that you can only make if you make a lot of money, you're a bad person. And when we could switch that I remember so well that she switched it. And she said, Oh, I want what I really want to believe is that money can be a force for good. And that if I make lots of money, I can make a beautiful positive impact in the world. And she literally, we did that session. And literally the next month, she started making three times more or four times more, just because she could not do that in a way that will stand in line with with her values. Really?
10:43
Yeah. And that's a deep, that's a deep one. To get over. I was
10:48
really deep. And then you also see it already, the parents have, you know, always taught her things like that. And then you just see how to hold family. And of course, the whole society would would teach things around them. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow.
11:02
Okay, so that's a big, that's a big myth. What's Myth number two.
11:08
So Myth number two is that you can just replace the belief with a simple thought. So you just decide, I don't feel good enough or rich people are evil, like rich can be literally you believe or if I'm rich, I'm, I'm, I'm bad, or anything like that. And then you see it, and you just change it. Sometimes that might be the way and that is great. But it really isn't always. And that is because there's different reasons, as we just talked about this idea of like, hey, it's actually served me that the subconscious holds on to it. I speak about four reasons which one reason is the gifts as we just said, like the good things that came out of the limiting beliefs is the fear of the positive belief, I have so much money, that no, I will lose all my friends, because we will get to bigger difference, for example. And then there is people in places, which is people that told you that. So for example, my father told me that and I'm part of the family, as we just said, because he believes that so I want to believe the same. And then as emotions, which has to do with forgiveness, letting go of anger and letting go of resentments or regret.
12:22
Right, so you just can't say a positive thing every day. And poof, the belief is expunged?
12:30
No, yeah, as I said, it's really great. Because sometimes, yes, sometimes that works. But if something is a bit deeper, it's really good to do some deeper work around it. And that is, yeah, what I hate if people feel bad because of that, they're like, Oh, I just did all my affirmations. And I noticed and still I don't do this, and they almost get angry with themselves. And I'm like, let's get really kind with ourselves, because it's nothing but your subconscious mind actually wanting to protect you and thinking, hey, this believe we've had this for a long time. We want to keep it Yeah, right.
13:07
Right. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Okay, what's Myth number three.
13:12
Myth number three, that would be another side of the coin is that you can't change them. So some people think this is just the way you are, people don't change in the core as they are, this is how it is or, and that is not true. either. You can definitely change them, you can change them on a deep, subconscious level. And then it will be you will almost forget it. Like I get clients and I have forgotten that I felt that behavior. Normally I would get really nervous if I would get on stage and speak in front of people. And this time, I just didn't even feel anything because we shifted to believe that was causing that nervousness, for example.
13:54
Yeah, and I'm sure a lot of people even as they get older, so you know, I've, I've been around for 50 years, you're not going to change my beliefs. That's part of who I am. Right. So that must be challenging to work with someone like that. So how do you approach a person that may come to you and say, Well, this is me. Can't change it? Yeah,
14:15
absolutely. I mean, first of all, I would talk about the fact that a lot of the beliefs that we have appear to be the truth, and that this might be one of them. So I would challenge that and I would see if I could get an opening in and what if we could we could change in right now. And and and then it might take time to really embody it and to really integrate it in your life. But what if that wouldn't be possible?
14:50
Yeah. And then it gets people thinking, Well, I mean, well, what if it did happen, then what would the outcome of that be what would my life look like? If I was able to, to change some of these beliefs that I think are impossible to change.
15:06
Yeah, exactly. I would also explain that. And this makes it quite concrete, I think that we have, you know, you have all the outer circumstances in life, the things that we experience. And then sometimes we feel powerless over those circumstances. Yet, the moment that you become empowered is when you think, Okay, this is the circumstance, I don't know, what would be a good example something that we're not happy with.
15:36
Let's say your what's your it'd be a good example. You. I mean, we can you can't find people to join your or to to be a part of your online course you you're launching an online course you've launched it, it's been a couple of months, and it's crickets no one's coming. So must mean oh, well, I just as I thought it's not good enough. No one's coming.
16:10
Exactly. Okay. Great example. So we have that circumstance, not selling anything, you did a whole launch did all the work, and it didn't work. So now, if your foot is exactly that must mean, it's not good enough, this is not gonna work, then you can ask yourself, Okay, I have that thought about the circumstance. I have that thought, what kind of what emotion does that create? So if I think you see is not good enough, I'm gonna feel a little sad and tired, I think and not so motivated to start over again. Then if I have that emotion, what kind of actions do I take? Maybe I quit it once. I, you know, I won't do it again. It's just like, I tried that this didn't work. And then I will have that results, it will never come. So this is how we and that is also how it works is like all the time does belief gets confirmed in life. That's how it works. So now when you change the thoughts, and you think, Hmm, interesting with curiosity, it didn't work this time. I am totally convinced that it can work. What can I change? Now you will have a different emotionally motivated, you're curious, maybe you'll ask a mentor or your hire a coach, I don't know what you'll do to figure that out. You take different actions, you launch it again, this time it sells out, yay. And then you have a different result. And then the belief will really be shifted. So this makes it I think, pretty concrete, and how those beliefs shape our reality, and how we actually have so much more power over our circumstances, no matter what happens, because we have power over what we think about him.
18:00
Yeah, I love that. And it, it's like, instead of looking at it as a complete failure, perhaps it's an opportunity to go a little deeper to do a little investigating. And to put it out again. Yes,
18:20
exactly. Yeah. And you know, if we go even a little deeper into that, for example, when I had my belief, I'm a failure, and some fat and I had actually a course that I sold it only to one person, and this person had in two weeks time asked for refunds. So imagine having that belief was horrible. It was so shit ashamed. You see, I'm a failure. So triggering that but having the understanding and then shifting, that belief was so powerful, not only for the business side, but in so many other areas of my life. So I now always say, Never waste a good trigger. If something like that happens. Yeah, that's amazing. We can find a belief we can shift it and that actually good news.
19:02
Wow, thanks for sharing that. What about myth number four?
19:08
Myth number four. Is that if you have that, yeah, we talked a little bit about that, but that it takes a lifetime to change them that if you've I've heard this often well, if you had something for 30 years, you will take 30 years to get rid of it. If you do and I really believe in going into that deep subconscious work. Because the conscious mind of course, it does a lot that the subconscious drives a lot of the behavior and results in the end, then you can actually change it in in a single session or in a in a moment. And then of course, as I said, it takes time to integrate it but they are Yeah, you can shift to believe in in a moment What has taken a lifetime to build? Yeah,
20:02
right. And I think that's important because a lot of people may think, Well, I don't have time to do this kind of work, because it's going to take months and months and months, years and years or a lifetime. I don't have the time.
20:15
Yeah, that that would be. It depends on how. So as I'll think about it right now is that it really saves me a lot of time, because instead of trying to change the outer reality, I'm going to get to the core shift the belief, and then the other reality on so many areas will change. So I think that that would be also my answer to that. And yes, indeed, it doesn't have to take you don't have to be in talk about it in therapy for a long, long time, you can actually find it another modality that works with this is EMDR. It has a similar approach. And yeah, I think it's very, very effective in a short amount of time.
21:05
Yeah. Because, you know, people these days, I mean, we can't even sit through, you know, an entire movie, sometimes going onto your phone or being distracted by a million things. And now you want to just short, tic TOCs, or short reels are all like, it seems our brain is primed to, to have the attention span for Do you know what I mean? So it's like, if it's gonna take a week, a month, years, whatever, people will throw up their hands and say, Oh, forget it. Yeah,
21:39
yes. And in a way, I think in a way, that is a way for the brain to avoid the possible, confronting things that this might bring up. So there is this feeling of I know, this might bring up things from my childhood or things that I find really painful. And I believe that that thought of like, I don't have time for that is actually a resistance to that might not because part of the work is in the moment maybe uncomfortable. Yeah,
22:17
yeah. So it's your brain saving you that discomfort and and protecting you essentially, that's what the I mean, our brains protect us, right? And so if, if the brain feels like, Oh, this is going to, no, I don't want to do this, it's going to be too uncomfortable. I'm going to protect you, we're not going to do it at all. If we compare it to like, the physical body. Like if, if you you were on a ledge, and it was a 10 foot drop, your brain would be like, Nope, because you're gonna probably hurt yourself, if you go down and jump off this 10 foot drop instead, why don't we take the long way around and use the stairs? To save to save ourselves? Right? So it's kind of the same thing. It's like the brain is just protecting you from what could be something that's uncomfortable that is going to make you do something you don't want to do.
23:08
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah,
23:11
that makes a lot of sense. Okay, what is myth? Number five? I feel like this is a big one.
23:17
Myth number five, is that the ones from your family that you can't change it? So this is a big one. And there are studies on that believes genetically or trauma genetically gets passed on, right? So there is and the experience is I just I've grown, this is who I am, we, my, my whole family lives this way. It's important for me to protect that. And I understand. And really, you know, sometimes when you change a certain belief or attitudes towards something, it might be that people are confused for a moment, or that it changes your dynamics with your parents or with your family or with your loved ones. And that fear, again, is underneath that as well. It is the most beautiful and empowering thing, I think to to realize that you can write your own story. That's how I think about it, that the family line comes with a certain story. But if you are feeling a desire to change that sort of story in some way that you actually can, and very often it actually changes the dynamic also for the better, very often it releases or unleashes things in the family that are actually really healing not only for you, but also for the people around you. Yeah,
24:50
yeah. So again, things can change. beliefs can change. So I'm going to recap myths one through five you'll let me know if I Don't get them. Right. So myth one is their thoughts just stuck on repeat. Myth number two, you just replace them with more positive thoughts. Myth number three can't change them hardwired? Sorry, I'm too old to change can't What is it? You can't teach an old dog new tricks, right? Exactly that myth number four, they take a lifetime to change. And myth number five, the ones from your family can't change. So all those are myths. So I think we've busted all of them. Now, a lot of people may think, oh, boy, subconscious mind, the brain. This all sounds a little too out there for me. So what would you say to folks who are resistant to go there? Because they think it's a little too out there?
25:47
Yeah. I would actually ask, like, imagine that you would see that as a belief, first of all, so that you would say, okay, I can, for a moment just play an experiment and the things that I see as true to my life. Let me see you this. Okay. That's the that's really the rooted belief that I have right now. And then play around with what if you would say, Yes, I'm going to completely subscribe to that idea. I'm going to think that limiting beliefs can be changed in a subconscious in one session, just like Melinda just said, like, what could possibly be bad about that? How could that be a bad thing? And that would actually be fierce around that whole idea. Now, maybe when you've determined that, why not give it a try? Like why you don't have to completely believe that it works that way. But why not give yourself the benefits of you know, give this whole idea to benefit of the doubt and just say like, you know what, I can experiment with it, I can just give it a go. And when a belief comes up, or when something comes up in your life that doesn't go the way that you wanted, or you have something that really triggers you in some way. Why not write down what you think the thoughts and the beliefs are that underneath that, remember that idea of we have the circumstance, the outer reality, and then we have the thoughts that creates a feeling the feeling creates an action and the action creates a result? So what if you would slightly change your foot around it? And just give yourself that that play of okay, well, good, what would that actually do to me?
27:32
Yeah, well, I love that. Can you say that again? So you start with the external, and then it goes to your thoughts. Go ahead. You complete it, because I thought that was really great.
27:42
Yeah, yeah. So yeah, so the external is a circumstance, the reality is the bank account that doesn't have enough money, the arm that hurts the I don't know. I don't know, boyfriend who is not calling like, I don't care, like whatever that is the business, as we said, the course that isn't failing. And then the thinking, okay, that's the circumstance. Now, what is my thought about him. And this is such a great first thing to do to become aware of the thought about it, you know, that these thoughts goes so fast, because you've practiced that a lot. So these wires in that house that is wired in a brain that is just happening so fast, that you might perceive them as the truth, but slow down, and just write down this is the thought, the foot creates a feeling or an emotion. And that emotion creates an action. So as we just said, If I feel a little disappointed and powerless, I might not take action, or I'll stop my business at all my online course thing at all. And that action creates results. So here's where you can see that the belief the forts, in the hands created the river, so not the circumstance.
29:00
I love it. I think that's great. And what a fantastic takeaway I was going to ask, okay, what do you really want the listeners to take away and I have to tell you, I think you beat me to the punch, because that's great. And it also shows, like we say, in the physical therapy world, I work with a lot of people with chronic pain, that the brain has plasticity, the brain can change. Yes. And it's not just in the physical. So what you're saying is you have these circumstances, here's your initial thought about it, if we can change that thought, perhaps the emotion connected to that which we sort of comes out of that amygdala area of the brain, that can be changed, that can be altered because the brain is plastic, and it can change. And I think that's such a great way to button up this conversation. I love it. I'm gonna think about that. Now. Every time something happens in and I have a thought and be like, Okay, wait a second. So Slow it down. What if I thought about it differently, I may have a different feeling. But then most importantly, your action will be different. So instead of saying my corset and tell I'm going to curl up in a ball on my bed and never leave, instead, it's my Corsten cell. Okay? Let me that could be an opportunity for me to go in and look at it, maybe jigger things up and see if I can, I can change things to make it a little bit more appealing. So then your action would be way different. So instead of curling up in a ball, it's let's edit this course, which are two very different things.
30:37
Exactly, exactly. Yeah, that's it. I love that.
30:40
Yeah, I love it. I think that's awesome. Now, where can people find you if they want to learn more about you, they want to work with you. Go ahead.
30:51
Great. Okay, so you can find me on all the socials, you can find my website, which is where Linda morris.com If you're listening, maybe not so easy. to spell that one, I do have a little mini course on how to shift any limiting belief. And I made a tiny URL, it's just to make things easy. And that would be tinyurl.com/shift. Any limiting belief altogether. So little sentence, that one, I think is a great one to have. It has a couple of videos and some PDFs, where all of the things that we just talked about gets explained a little bit more in depth and just give you a simple process to do it or try it out for yourself.
31:41
Awesome. And we'll have all the links at podcast at healthy, wealthy smart.com. So that you can go on and click and take a take this limiting shift any limiting belief course. So we will have all of the and links to all of your social media and everything else as well. Now, before we go the last question, which is when I asked everyone, and that's knowing where you are now in your life, and in your career, what advice would you give to your younger self?
32:13
Yes. So I would really tell my long younger self to be more trusting of the things that I felt that I want to I've been always doing things I would say kind of against the status quo. I've even had a teacher one who said you always have to make the impossible possible. And now it would be like okay, trust yourself, and then it's gonna turn out okay. And even if somebody else doesn't believe it, or doesn't see it, if you have the vision or the idea or the feeling or the impulse, that is the thing to follow. So that is what I would say. I think
32:55
that is wonderful advice for your younger self and for all of our listeners listening today. So Linda, thank you so much for coming on sharing all this info. And again, everyone will have all of her Linda's information at podcast at healthy wealthy smart.com. So Linda, thank you so much for coming on the podcast.
33:14
Thank you, Karen. Really lovely to be here.
33:17
And everyone. Thanks so much for listening, have a great couple of days and stay healthy, wealthy and smart.