How to Talk to Kids about Toxic Achievement Culture with Jennifer Wallace
Aug 29, 2023
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Award-winning journalist and author Jennifer Wallace discusses the negative effects of achievement culture on children's mental health and the importance of fostering authentic pride and interdependence. She emphasizes the value of connection and provides valuable resources for further information on her book and work.
Achievement culture can become toxic, leading to increased rates of anxiety and depression in high-achieving students.
Prioritizing 'mattering' and recognizing inherent strengths in children helps combat the negative effects of toxic achievement culture.
Deep dives
The Negative Effects of Achievement Culture: A Discussion with Jennifer Wallace
In this podcast episode, Dr. Robin Silverman interviews Jennifer Wallace, an award-winning journalist and author of the book 'Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic and What We Can Do About It.' They discuss the detrimental impact of the hypercompetitive culture on children and teenagers. Wallace shares her insights on why children today face immense pressure to excel academically and extracurricularly. She also highlights the increased rates of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse among high-achieving students. The conversation emphasizes the importance of helping children understand their inherent value and fostering interdependence rather than just independence. Wallace suggests practical strategies for parents to create a balanced environment where children feel valued for who they are, rather than solely based on their achievements.
The Power of Mattering and Building Authentic Pride
In this segment, Jennifer Wallace discusses the concept of 'mattering' as a solution to the toxic achievement culture. Mattering, as defined by researchers, involves feeling valued for one's core identity and making meaningful contributions to family, friends, and community. Wallace explores how parents can prioritize mattering in their children's lives, emphasizing that they are valued and have the ability to impact others. She also highlights the importance of shifting the focus from shiny outcomes to personal growth and authentic pride. The conversation emphasizes the significance of recognizing and celebrating children's inherent strengths rather than solely evaluating them based on external achievements.
Creating Healthy Boundaries and Prioritizing Mattering
This section delves into the importance of setting boundaries and maintaining a balanced schedule for children. Jennifer Wallace emphasizes the need for parents to help their children navigate their workload and extracurricular commitments in a healthy way. She discusses the negative consequences of excessive pressure and lack of sleep on children's mental health. Wallace suggests strategies such as defining parameters for work and play, prioritizing downtime, and modeling interdependence. The conversation emphasizes the significance of parental modeling and open communication in creating a positive and sustainable approach to achievement.
Never Worry Alone: Building Resilience and Support Networks
In this final segment, Jennifer Wallace highlights the importance of building resilience and a support network for children. She discusses the powerful impact of authentic connections and emphasizes the role of parents in providing emotional support and validation. Wallace shares practical strategies, such as engaging in the 'family meeting' practice and nurturing a deep understanding of each child's unique strengths. The conversation stresses the significance of creating an environment where children feel valued, seen, and supported, promoting their mental well-being and self-worth.
We’re probably all felt it—this ever-more competitive race that today’s students run each day towards the best possible future—feeling the crushing pressure to do more, more, more, jamming their schedules full of resume-padding activities, AP classes, tutoring and whatever else that can give them an edge over the rest so that they can get into the right colleges, that gets them on the right path towards the right future. At the same time, we have skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, self-harm and more—is it possible to help kids strive towards excellence without having the process crush them while on their way? For this, we are speaking with Jennifer Wallace.
