Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo 2626 How the Hell Do You Fight Well?
Those arguments seem to dabble in the areas of not enough money or intimacy, or who's responsible for the laundry and dishes. Aren't you picking up the children?
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The first thing everyone must understand. You will have arguments, disagreements, and even shouting matches in marriage.
No marriage is perfect. Plus, your marriage doesn't have two partners that agree all the time.
You're human. Whether it's politics, finances, career, children, or dust...each of you has different preferences and perspectives.
And that is more than a good thing. Think how boring your life would be if you were exactly like your husband/wife.
I know. You might be saying that your eardrums could use a break. But in all seriousness, your marriage is worth the fight.
So if you are one who is pointing fingers at your spouse, then this episode is for you. If you are one who says you've got it made, this episode is for you. Wherever you are in your marriage, this is a must-listen.
"Marriage is a two-way street, but one must start the conversation." ~ Kristianne WargoIf you are honestly desiring a better marriage, then that means it takes work. Anything worth having takes work. Someone must begin to change the conversation. And that someone is YOU!!!
Dr. Greg Smalley says, "Conflict, when handled correctly, is the doorway to intimacy and understanding."
Maybe you've thought about:
- fixing it,
- running away from conflict,
- separation,
- divorce,
- or just living with the status quo.
But how is that serving you as an individual, and how is that serving you as a couple?
If you always try to fix it, you are putting your spouse on the defensive. Why? Because he's going to assume that you think you're right.
Who wants to work with someone who doesn't believe in him or trust him?
I know I wouldn't and you wouldn't either.
What if you could learn to fight well — Not just to boost your ego and self-interests; but truly allow conflict to bring you closer together as a couple?
If you can understand your roles during the fight, you can learn to fight well.
Just take a time out!
The K.I.S.S. ~ Take a time out!When you are in the middle of conflict and the heat keeps rising, take a time out!!
You owe your hearts a break! A constant beating down of each other only constructs walls that are almost impenetrable.
As you continue to shoot down your husband, the heart continues to harden. And eventually, there are areas of the heart that remain petrified.
For a while, that hurt and hardened part of the heart can be compartmentalized. However, the effect can spill over as time passes and petrify the rest of the heart.
So how the hell do you fight well?
- Own up. Own your part of the conflict. Are you standing for your marriage? If you are, then you are owning your part. If you're one who is always pointing fingers, then you are not owning your part.
- Show up. What can you do to make a difference for the better in your marriage? Don't place blame on the other person and wipe your hands of any wrong-doings. Remember, marriage is a two-way street. You have to show up!
- Fill up. Surround yourself with those willing to fight for your marriage. Hope-filled accountability. This is a community that supports you and your spouse.
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Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Succes, Entrepreneur, LifeHack, and She Owns It.
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https://sheownsit.com/when-failure-is-your-middle-name/
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
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Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
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Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) 9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.