084: Role-Play Techniques (Part 2) — Paradoxical Double-Standard

David describes watching Dr. Maxy Maultsby do a demonstration of the Double Standard Technique when he was a psychiatric resident in the 1970s at the University of Pennsylvania medical school. He was quite surprised when the patient, who was severely depressed and suicidal following a break-up with her boyfriend, improved dramatically within an hour. David modified the technique in several ways, and tonight will present what is probably the most powerful way to use this technique.

The technique is based on the idea that most of us operate on a double-standard. When we are upset about some failure, mistake, or inadequacy, we tend to beat up on ourselves mercilessly. But if we were talking to a dear friend with the exact same problem, we'd be far more compassionate and realistic. Once you make the patient aware of this double-standard, you ask if he or she would be willing to talk to himself or herself in the same way he or she would talk to a dear friend.

But the unique feature of the way David does it, is that you, the therapist, "become" a dear friend of the patient, kind of like a long-list identical twin who is actually virtually identical to the patient, but a different person. Then the therapist (playing the role of the friend) describe the problem the patient is struggling as if it is your own problem.