Everyday Wellness: Midlife Hormones, Menopause, and Science for Women 35+ Ep. 546 “Family Loyalty Is Making You Sick!” – The Shocking Truth About Narcissistic Family Systems & Nervous System Healing with Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC | Menopause & Mental Health
Today, I’m honored to connect with Jerry Wise, a leading voice in family systems and self-differentiation. With over 45 years of experience healing adults from narcissistic, dysfunctional, and emotionally immature family systems, Jerry’s work guides people out of lifelong patterns of guilt, shame, and emotional enmeshment so they can finally live as their true selves.
This episode is not about telling anyone what they should do with their family relationships. It’s about understanding patterns, reclaiming choice, and recognizing that protecting your nervous system is essential for your wellness. We dive into narcissism, personality disorders, and the spectrum within which Jerry believes narcissism falls. We explore low, middle, and high-anxiety family systems, clarify why self-differentiation is critically important, and how long-term nervous system dysregulation often occurs when we grow up in narcissistic homes. We also cover trauma bonding, the impact of avoidance, the role of boundaries, and cultural myths around honoring our parents, and I answer some rapid-fire questions tailored explicitly to Jerry’s expertise.
I have wanted to interview Jerry for the podcast for a long time, and this is one of those truly impactful and deeply personal episodes.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN:
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How narcissistic parents differ from other types of parents
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The developmental switches that get turned off in those growing up with narcissistic parents
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Intergenerational trauma and how it impacts nervous system regulation and emotional health
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How self-differentiation can help individuals manage their emotional systems
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Challenges of setting boundaries with narcissistic parents
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Why internal boundaries are essential
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How avoidance can become a coping mechanism for dealing with uncomfortable feelings
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The importance of maintaining reality and not giving up on your true self to honor your parents and/or meet their expectations
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Strategies for managing family dynamics and reducing chronic anxiety
Connect with Cynthia Thurlow
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Check out Cynthia’s website
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Cynthia’s Intermittent Fasting Transformation Book
Connect with Jerry Wise