Latter Day Struggles 385: Honoring Relationships AND your Nervous System Over the Holidays
If Episode 384 (the one right before this one!) addresses the larger psychological question of why the holidays & family events can be extra challenging and painful for those on the LDS faith expansion journey--then this episode answers the equally relevant follow up question: What can I actually do to maximize my potential to feel present and grounded at these holiday events?
In today's episode, Val focuses in on two prevalent kinds of LDS family systems that she has heard about over and over again in her work in LDS faith crisis/expansion: the authoritarian structure and her newly coined term, the 'adherent/apologetic' family structure.
If either of these family structures ring a bell then her "four critical safety pillars"— might help you navigate these challenging family gatherings with grace for your own nervous system and grace for your doing-their best loved ones.
Whether you're dealing with strict authoritarian dynamics or the anxiety-laden avoidance of adherent-apologetic families, Valerie's thoughtful strategies and encouragement will empower you to stay true to yourself while maintaining meaningful connections. Tune in to transform your holiday stress into an opportunity for growth and understanding.
Wait, there's more!
**Want to catch the first part of this conversation and not a Friday Fellow? Jump to the show notes for more info on how to catch this whole conversation!
**Need more to prepare? Val has prepared an ebook companion to episodes 384 and 385. Jump to the show notes for more information on this excellent resource as well!
https://valeriehamaker.com/downloads/navigating-family-faith-during-the-holidays/
Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction and Episode Overview.
00:44 – Navigating Family Dynamics During the Holidays
02:00 – The Impact of Faith Transitions on Family Interactions
03:00 – Context for the Episode and Friday Fellowship
04:00 – Understanding Different Family Structures
05:00 – The Psychology Behind Family Types
05:57 – Authoritarian Family Dynamics
07:04 – Adaptive Family Dynamics
08:00 – Navigating Adaptive Family Interactions
09:03 – Adherent Apologetic Family Dynamics
10:30 – Indirect Communication and Triangulation
12:31 – Practical Tips for Holiday Interactions
14:00 – The Importance of Personal Choice and Boundaries
16:51 – Pillar 1: Internal Safety
20:00 – Tools for Internal Safety
23:30 – Pillar 2: Relational Safety
27:00 – Strategies for Relational Safety
30:00 – Practicing Differentiation and Respect
34:52 – Pillar 3: Environmental Safety
36:30 – Setting Boundaries Around Participation
39:44 – Pillar 4: Exit and Recovery Safety
42:00 – Dealing with Post-Event Emotions
44:00 – Vale
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