Episode 318: The Messy Truth About Healing with Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D

Dr. Kerry McAvoy returns to talk about what it means to heal from narcissistic abuse. Not just from an intellectual standpoint, but healing your nervous system, in your relationships, and in your relationship to yourself. Healing is not quick, it’s not tidy, and it’s definitely not linear.

Dr. Kerry and I talk about how women have been conditioned to serve, to disappear, to manage the emotions of everyone around us just to maintain the illusion of peace. We explore what emotional fusion looks like, what healthy relationships look like, and what it means to reconnect with Self throughout your healing journey.

Here’s what else we get into, in this episode:

• How and why so many of us learned to believe our needs are “too much” (3:59)
• Discerning between, “Are you being loved and respected or just useful?” (18:03)
• What healthy love actually looks like (spoiler alert it includes messiness and mistakes) (28:04)
• Healing doesn’t have a finish line and why that’s okay (29:35)

Learn more about Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D:  Dr. Kerry, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Resources & Links:

Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Our Family WizardUnbreakable – the Divorce Recovery Retreat, Sedona, AZ in April 2025Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective

Dr. Kerry’s websiteDr. Kerry on Facebook  Dr. Kerry on Instagram Dr. Kerry on YouTube Dr. Kerry on TikTok Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships, David Schnarch PhD|

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