Life Coaching with Christine Hassler EP 294: Growing in a Relationship with Brandon
This episode is about holding space for our partners. Today’s caller, Brandon, would like guidance on how to be in the healthy space of masculine and feminine presence. It is a lovely conversation about integration and holding space when you get to a place where you feel wonderful, but your partner isn’t quite there.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode294]
When someone comes to us and vents, there is a desire to want to fix whatever it is. The masculine tends to want to fix. The feminine tends to want to take it on and over-empathize into sympathy or go into a caretaker role. We all have masculine and feminine energetics inside of us.
Underneath any upset is an unmet need. When we can find the need in an argument or a trigger inside ourselves, we can begin to deal with the true trigger. When we are trying to ease the trigger with talk or action, it usually doesn’t work because we are not reaching the unmet need.
Remember, everyone is on their own path. When one person gets to a place of feeling evolved like they’ve “got it” in some ways they want the other person to join them. And, wanting someone you care about to grow and evolve is great. However, judgment can creep in. When we grow and we have awareness we can get on a spiritual or personal growth soapbox. It can be unconscious, or subtle, but the other person can feel judged. The other person can feel pressure.
When you get triggered, ask yourself if your masculine comes out or your feminine. Or, can you be in the healthy space of masculine and feminine presence, where the masculine part of you welcomes it, holds space, and asks it what it needs and the feminine part has massive compassion and nurtures you?
Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can’t make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Are you in a phase of your relationship where it’s time to integrate some of the things you’ve learned?
- Do you feel like you or your partner may be a little “ahead” in your personal development and integration? Does one partner get frustrated because the other is not as far along?
- Do you feel polarity in your relationship? As in, one of you holds a strong feminine pull and one of you holds a strong masculine pull. Are you possibly in your unhealthy masculine or feminine expressions?
Brandon’s Question:
Brandon would like assistance with integrating some learnings into his relationship.
Brandon’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- He has been married for five years.
- He has a daughter.
- His relationship has been through some “speedbumps.”
- He was abandoned at 13.
- He has done personal development work.
- He feels supported, loved, and compassion from his wife.
- He is learning more about the feminine dynamic.
- He is new to setting boundaries.
- They tried having a polyamorous relationship.
- He feels oneness with God.
- He is growing into feminine, within his masculine role.
- He is in a beautiful place emotionally and spiritually.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Focus on how to make his wife feel safe.
- Be a masculine container without attachment to a shift or change.
- Don’t judge his wife for being at a different vibration.
- Ask his wife what she needs when she vents.
- He needs to be consistent in his actions.
- Do the Sacred Union process together with his wife.
Takeaways:
- Look at the masculine/feminine relationship inside of yourself.
- Pay attention to whether you want to fix others or yourself and see if you can back off the fixing and be in a place of unconditional love and acceptance.
- Join us for our powerful virtual Relationship Retreat, June 11‒13, 2021.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.
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