Why Assuming You Know Your Partner Is Destroying Your Marriage

Jan 14, 2026

31:09

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In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura tackle the question every married couple avoids: What is my spouse not telling me—and what am I afraid to ask? The answer will challenge everything you think you know about knowing your partner.

Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey of rebuilding trust, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth: the moment curiosity dies, assumptions take over. And those assumptions are quietly destroying more marriages than the fights ever could.

Laura shares what she discovered when Carl checked her phone algorithm—and why the things we linger on reveal more than the things we say. Carl delivers the challenge most couples avoid: if swapping phones with your spouse sends a jolt through your body, that's not about technology. That's about distance and secrecy.

From the power of staying curious about someone you've known for decades, to why the unsaid things don't disappear—they just show up in ways you don't want—this episode delivers practical truths for couples who want to stop assuming and start connecting.

This episode will challenge any couple who believes they already know everything about each other.

Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com

CHAPTERS:

00:00 One Way To Shift Your Marriage Fast

01:57 The Gift Of Not Fully Knowing Your Spouse

03:45 Laura's Australian Childhood

06:05 When Curiosity Dies Assumptions Take Over

07:00 God Behind Bars Partnership

07:45 The Algorithm Discovery That Started It All