Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy

115 | How U Doin? 5-Step Check-In for Couples in Recovery from Infidelity

14 snips
Jul 21, 2025
This discussion delves into the critical skill of honest communication in marriages, particularly after betrayal. The hosts introduce the FANOS Check-In tool, designed to foster deeper intimacy through Feelings, Affirmations, Needs, Ownership, and Struggles. By sharing emotional states and ownership of mistakes, couples can strengthen their connection. They emphasize practical steps for effective communication, the importance of consistency, and using prayer to enhance understanding and compassion. Listeners are encouraged to embrace vulnerability and practice daily check-ins.
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ADVICE

Take Turns And Practice Daily

  • Do one full FANOS turn per person to keep conversation orderly and fair.
  • Practice daily to increase intimacy, safety, and love.
ADVICE

Create Sacred, Consistent Space

  • Make eye contact and sit close (they call it knees-to-knees) to signal this time is sacred.
  • Pick a consistent time so the check-in stays intentional and doesn't become accidental.
ADVICE

Listen To Understand, Then Wait

  • As the listener, don't fix or give feedback; listen to understand and be present.
  • Wait about 48 hours before discussing anything shared to let emotions settle and avoid rabbit holes.
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