EP252 - Sex Myths You Need to Unlearn with Dr. Lindsey Brooks
Oct 19, 2021
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Dr. Lindsey Brooks, a sex therapist turned sex educator, discusses the importance of giving women space to explore their bodies, challenges the stigma around female masturbation, and emphasizes the need for effective communication and understanding of diverse sexual desires.
Women have the right to prioritize their own pleasure in sexual experiences and should explore their bodies and normalize masturbation to understand their desires.
There is no objective 'normal' level of desire for women, and it is important for individuals to define their own normal based on personal experiences and desires.
Deep dives
Empowering Women's Sexuality
In this episode, Dr. Lindsey Brooks, a sex therapist and educator, discusses important things that women should know about sex and sexuality. She emphasizes that women have the right to pleasure and need to prioritize their own enjoyment in sexual experiences. She encourages women to explore their bodies, identify what gives them pleasure, and normalize masturbation as a way to understand their own desires. Dr. Brooks also dispels the myth that women should orgasm through penetration alone, highlighting that clitoral stimulation is important for most women to reach orgasm. She addresses the issue of desire discrepancies in relationships and suggests that open communication, understanding, and an action plan can help couples navigate and close the desire gap.
Challenging Societal Myths
Dr. Lindsey Brooks challenges societal myths surrounding women's desire for sex. She emphasizes that there is no objective 'normal' level of desire and encourages individuals to define their own normal based on their personal experiences and desires. Dr. Brooks addresses the misconception that women do not want sex by highlighting that desire levels can vary and are influenced by factors such as stress and relationship dynamics. She advocates for better sex education to address desire issues and equips women with the tools to explore their desires, prioritize pleasure, and communicate their needs effectively.
Creating a Collaborative Approach
Dr. Lindsey Brooks discusses how couples can address desire discrepancies in a collaborative manner. She emphasizes that desire differences are common in relationships and should not be framed as a problem or point of blame. Dr. Brooks suggests that both partners play a role in closing the gap by understanding their own desires and exploring ways to fulfill their sexual needs. This includes the lower desire partner exploring personal barriers, identifying accelerators of desire, and communicating these findings with their partner. The higher desire partner is encouraged to find satisfaction through solo activities, such as masturbation, and to explore alternative intimate activities that go beyond intercourse. The focus is on creating an expanded and diverse sexual menu that meets the needs and desires of both partners.
Navigating Difficult Conversations
Dr. Lindsey Brooks provides guidance on how to navigate difficult conversations about desire in relationships. She suggests starting with a positive foundation and expressing what is currently enjoyable in the relationship. From there, it is important to have a shared game plan by discussing specific actions that can be taken to address desire discrepancies. Dr. Brooks recommends seeking support from a sex therapist if needed and encourages open communication, understanding, and negotiation to maintain an intimate and fulfilling sexual connection.
Welcome to episode 252 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Lindsey Brooks to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss Lindsey's journey into sexual empowerment, the importance of giving women space to explore their bodies and looking at masturbation in a new light.
Dr. Lindsey Brooks is a sex therapist turned sex educator. She has her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, is a certified sex therapist, and has been providing therapy since 2005.
She is thrilled to now be bringing her knowledge beyond the therapy room with Sexual Empowerment School where she teaches women how to build their sexual self-knowledge, develop pleasure-positive mindsets, and learn sexual communication skills through her on-line workshops and resources.
In this episode, you will hear:
How Lindsey started her journey into sexual empowerment
Looking at the things Lindsey wished women knew more about when it comes to sex
How many women are ambivalent to sexual pleasure
The importance of giving women space to explore their bodies
Looking at masturbation in a new light and why it’s not something to be ashamed of
How masturbation can be a great tool to explore your sexual pleasure
Why masturbation isn’t inferior to sex
Challenging the myth that women should orgasm through penetration
What counts as a “normal” libido or sexual desire
The importance of framing conversations correctly to best communicate with your partner
Ways you can avoid getting into a nagging cycle or arguments with your partner
How you can plant your own seeds in the garden of desire
