21. The Destruction of Others

Did you know we’ve started “Smokeshow Specials” for subscribers to answer your burning questions? We’re just getting started. Sarah sings the praises of Nancy’s recent articles, which leads to a riff on dads and daughters at the movies, how to protect tender things, and the wisdom of Nancy’s late father-in-law’s M.O.: “Do it, then talk about it.”

Our main course is a discussion of the controversial New York magazine cover story about a 17-year-old who shared a nude photo of his girlfriend and then watched his world fall apart. Elizabeth Weil’s article is a “primal scream” about teenagers who are not OK, but Twitter has been in “primal scream” mode over why that story isn’t OK either. Nancy and Sarah beg to disagree. Can anything save us from our bloodlust for suffering? Nancy gets feisty on a cultural addiction to seeing people taken down.

“They are trying to fill themselves up with the destruction of others,” she says.

We also talk about how feminism fell out of fashion, and the ways the movement is prone to “cycles of matricide,” as Michelle Goldberg says in the NYT. The in-fighting and ideological nit-picking may be why 46 percent of Democratic men under 50 agree with the statement, “Feminism has done more harm than good.” But what do we mean when we say “feminism”? The answers are all over the map, in the culture, and our own lives. We end with a discussion of Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In manifesto (the most purchased, least read book of 2013?) and the “crackling hellfire of C-suite America.” Glad we aren’t there. But of course, that means we need your support.

Can you look this cat in the eyes and NOT become a free or paid subscriber?

Episode Notes:

The Bad Mother by Nancy Rommelmann

“The Camera and the Audience,” by Nancy Rommelmann (Substack)

Annie official trailer

The plot of Never Been Kissed (which Nancy’s daughter made her father watch 39 times) is a reporter who goes back to high school undercover …

… a movie that came out the same year that one of the reporters around here did that for reals!

“Undercover on High School’s Ritziest Glitziest Night It All Goes Down at Prom,” by Sarah Hepola (Austin Chronicle)

“Fast Forward Into Trouble,” TV comes to Bhutan article (Guardian)

Parents Music Resource Center’s objectionable “Filthy Fifteen”

Are the Smoke ‘Em girls really giving us a link to “The Case Against the Trauma Plot” again? Apparently, yes!

“The Doom Crusades,” by Nancy Rommelmann (Substack). Audio version (Apple podcasts)

“Cancelled at 17,” by Elizabeth Weil (The Cut/NY Mag)

“Anatomy of a Child Pornographer,” by Nancy Rommelmann (Reason)

Fleishman Is in Trouble, by Taffy Brodesser-Akner

“Sentimental Journeys,” Joan Didion (on the Central Park Five) (NYRoB)

“The Central Park Five: ‘We Were Just Baby Boys’” (NYT Mag)

So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, by Jon Ronson

“The Future Isn’t Female Anymore,” by Michelle Goldberg (NYT)

“Tinder and the Dawn of the ‘Dating Apocalypse’,” by Nancy Jo Sales (Vanity Fair)

“How Whitney Wolfe Herd Changed the Dating Game,” by Sarah Hepola (Texas Monthly)

The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt

“This is Pleasure,” a #MeToo novella by Mary Gaitskill (New Yorker)

“Out of It: Notes From Outside the Consternation Machine,” a new Substack by Mary Gaitskill

“Sheryl Sandberg and the Crackling Hellfire of Corporate America,” by Caitlin Flanagan (Atlantic)

Broadcast News official trailer

Outro song: “867-5309/Jenny” by Tommy Tutone

And take some advice from Wallace the cat on how to stay cool this summer …

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em is a fan of animals, accessories, and even humans. Consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com/subscribe