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The most common regret of the dying is wishing they had lived a life true to themselves, not one expected by others. It is important to prioritize our own desires and not let the opinions of others dictate our choices.
The regret of working too hard is also a common sentiment among the dying. Our culture often incentivizes work and material possessions, but it is crucial to recognize the value and sacredness of our time. Sacrificing time with loved ones or personal well-being for work promotions or financial gains may not always be worth it.
Another regret expressed by the dying is not having the courage to express their feelings and not staying in touch with friends. It is important to create space in our lives for meaningful connections and to communicate openly and honestly with others.
The final regret highlighted is not allowing oneself to be happier. The dying emphasize the importance of actively choosing happiness and living a life without regret. By making choices aligned with our true desires, we can live a more content and intentional life.
According to Bronnie Ware, author of 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying,' having strong relationships, a sense of humor, and a belief in something greater than oneself are key qualities to living a regret-free life. Those who had good communication with their family, could laugh at their mistakes, and had faith in a higher power did not express regret at the end of their lives. Bronnie suggests that everyone should spend time with dying individuals to gain a deeper appreciation for life and prioritize what truly matters.
Bronnie shares that she witnessed moments of joy and recognition in individuals' final moments before death. She explains that witnessing these experiences has helped her overcome fear of her own death. Bronnie emphasizes the importance of having the courage to face death and encourages living life without regrets. She believes that delaying one's dreams or not honoring their aspirations is a greater fear than death itself, as witnessed through the pain of regret she has observed in others.
Bronnie reflects on her experience caring for individuals with Alzheimer's disease and the difficulties their loved ones face. She advises that even if someone with Alzheimer's cannot articulate their thoughts or reply in a coherent way, it is crucial to continue showing love and communication. Bronnie shares a personal experience of a heartfelt interaction with a patient in a moment of clarity. She emphasizes the importance of loving and communicating with individuals with Alzheimer's, regardless of their ability to respond.
What do you think you might be saying on your deathbed? Will you be looking back at your life with a sense of joy and completeness, or, do you think that you might be consumed with regret? As this week’s guest shares, “It’s easy to assume that you will live with great health to a ripe old age, then die peacefully in your sleep wearing your favourite pyjamas but it doesn’t work out that way for most people…”
Bronnie Ware is an internationally acclaimed speaker and author of the bestselling memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Published more than 10 years ago, it’s been translated into 32 languages and continues to attract new audiences. The book is about her eight years as an end-of-life carer, the close relationships she formed, and lessons she learned from those dying people, which changed her life forever.
We discuss some of the various regrets of the dying and what they can teach us so that we can live better lives, right now. We talk about the concept of choice. Everything we do, or don’t do, has a price – be it time or money. Our culture incentivises what we can measure – salaries, possessions, status, social media ‘likes’ and comments. But Bronnie urges us to realise the sacredness and value of our time.
Is a choice worth making if it means you have to sacrifice time with your loved ones? Is it worth pushing extra hard for the promotion that may bring you more money but also more stress and more time away from home? These are decisions that I think we all need to wrestle with from time to time if we are truly going to be living a contented and intentional life.
We also talk about the real meaning of regret, what it means to be courageous, and how self-compassion can help us see our mistakes as a natural part of life and growth. Bronnie also defines the qualities and habits she observed in those patients who reached the end of life with no regrets – what can we learn from these people?
Death can be a topic that many people shy away from discussing but Bronnie is a wonderful soul who is able to talk about death in a relatable, powerful and authentic way. Appreciating we are going to die is the first step to getting more out of life.
This really was a thought-provoking and intimate conversation. I hope you enjoy listening.
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Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/383
DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
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