PsycHacks Episode 552: Don't chase (the power of attractiveness)
19 snips
Sep 12, 2025 Exploring the advice against chasing in dating reveals a complex interplay of power dynamics in relationships. Attractiveness plays a crucial role, often determining who holds the upper hand. Personal development in areas like fitness and social skills can significantly enhance one’s appeal. The discussion highlights the shifting dating landscape for women in their 30s, urging them to reevaluate strategies. Finally, the balance of privilege and responsibility in romantic partnerships invites deeper reflection on power's dual nature.
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Chasing Equals A Weaker Negotiation Position
- Chasing puts the chaser in a disadvantaged bargaining position and hands power to the pursued.
- More powerful players reliably extract more of what they want in relationships and negotiations.
Attractiveness Determines Who Can Afford To Wait
- 'Don't chase' only works if you're attractive enough that others will pursue you.
- In sexual relationships, attractiveness determines who holds the power to be pursued or to pursue.
Improve What You Can Control
- Focus on factors you can control to increase your attractiveness like fitness, finances, fashion, and friendships.
- Play to your strengths rather than wishing for traits you cannot change.
