Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Resolving a Toddler’s Aggressive Behavior (Hitting, Pushing, Hair Pulling)

Dec 17, 2019

The podcast discusses a parent's struggle with their 2-year-old's aggressive behavior of hair pulling. It explores the importance of empathy, offers guidance for effective approaches, and emphasizes the influence of parents' reactions on children's behavior. It also provides strategies for handling toddler aggression and understanding their perspective.

17:57

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Episode notes

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Approach impulsive behaviors like hair pulling from a connected standpoint, calmly stating 'I can't let you' instead of being stern or confrontational.

Recognize that children engage in impulsive behaviors without deliberate thought and lack the skills to control themselves, so focus on protection and being a 'buddy guard' to create a safe space.

Deep dives

Understanding the Child's Perspective

When a child engages in impulsive behaviors like hair pulling, hitting, or biting, it is crucial to understand their perspective. Rather than focusing on firmness and stern confrontations, it is important to approach the behavior from a connected standpoint. Instead of saying 'hair pulling hurts' in a stern manner, calmly respond with 'I can't let you.' Being gentle and non-reactive helps deescalate the situation and communicates that the behavior is not acceptable without causing additional discomfort for the child.

Introduction

2min

Understanding and Responding to a Child's Aggressive Behavior

6min

Understanding and Responding to a Child's Aggressive Behavior

2min

Responding to Toddler's Aggressive Behavior

7min

Addressing Hair Pulling and Understanding the Child's Perspective

2min

Janet responds to the parent of a 2-year-old who for the past 3 months has been “going through a really bad stage of pulling hair.” This parent describes herself as a Montessori teacher with an intense passion for gentle, respectful parenting. She has tried several strategies to change her daughter’s behavior, but to no avail. “I’m exhausted and have become extremely depressed and isolated because of this. I feel parents are judging me and not wanting to spend time with us.” She’s hoping Janet can offer some guidance, hopefully a solution.

For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon.

Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Resolving a Toddler’s Aggressive Behavior (Hitting, Pushing, Hair Pulling)