Raising Boys & Girls Episode 320: Letting Go of Pressure & Performance with Enneagram 3 Parents, Kelli Haywood & Brandon Verner
Oct 28, 2025
Kelli Haywood and Brandon Verner, both Enneagram Type 3 parents, share their experiences of balancing ambition with meaningful family connections. They discuss the pressure to perform and how it affects children, emphasizing the need for emotional presence. The duo offers practical tips for slowing down and fostering open communication. They highlight the importance of adventure and family traditions to create a safe, accepting environment where kids can thrive. Their insights encourage parents to embrace vulnerability and connection over productivity.
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Charm Masks Inner Stress
- Threes often present positive, charming energy that masks inner stress and numbness.
- That optimism can be a coping mechanism that delays real self-awareness.
Deceit Is Mostly Self-Deception
- Deceit for Threes often means deceiving themselves by presenting a polished image.
- That self-deception produces charisma but hides real feelings and vulnerabilities.
Cleaning To Win Mom's Attention
- As a child Kelli cleaned the house before her mom came home so her mom could relax and spend time with her.
- She later sees this as early Three behavior: performing to secure attachment and attention.