Mormon Stories Podcast

Therapist Combats Mormon Sexual Shame - Erika Nordfelt | Ep. 1984

Jan 17, 2025

In this conversation, Erika Nordfelt, a mental health professional from Rexburg, Idaho, shares her enlightening journey from a strict Mormon upbringing to healing and self-discovery. She dives into the intricacies of sexual shame within the Mormon community and the importance of open dialogue about sexuality. Erika reflects on her experiences navigating faith, identity, and relationships, while advocating for a more compassionate approach to mental health. Her insights shed light on the often stigmatized topics of pornography, shame, and the challenges faced by those transitioning out of rigid belief systems.

03:25:05

Creator website

Episode guests

Erika Nordfelt

AI Summary

AI Chapters

Episode notes

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Erika Nordfelt shares her journey from a devout Mormon upbringing to finding healing and self-acceptance beyond religious constraints.

The pervasive impact of shame related to sexuality within Mormon culture can lead to feelings of worthlessness and hinder mental health.

Open discussions about sexual health and shame are necessary to foster emotional well-being and redefine perceptions toward sexuality.

Community support plays a vital role in healing, as shared experiences help diminish feelings of isolation and promote understanding.

Erika highlights the limitations of traditional 12-step models in dealing with sexual shame, advocating for a more compassionate and nuanced perspective.

Deep dives

Introduction to Erica Norfeldt

The conversation features an interview with Erica Norfeldt, a mental health professional based in Rexburg, Idaho, who shares her insights into navigating mental health services within the rigid cultural context of Mormonism. Having worked at the BYU-Idaho Counseling Center, Erica discusses the unique challenges and experiences faced by Mormons and ex-Mormons in seeking mental health support. She points out that Rexburg is known for its conservative values, which can intensify the difficulties people face when dealing with issues like sexual shame and mental health struggles. The dialogue underscores the importance of providing adequate mental health resources for individuals navigating complex emotions tied to their religious upbringing.

Intro

2min

Healing from Shame: A Mormon Perspective

4min

Navigating Faith and Family in Mormon Culture

4min

Reflections on a Positive Mormon Upbringing

5min

Navigating Life as a Mormon Girl

16min

Navigating Faith and Identity

26min

Navigating Sexual Dynamics and Shame

32min

Navigating Shame and Support in Marriage

25min

Navigating Shame and Mental Health in the Mormon Community

21min

10.

Navigating Sexuality and Shame

20min

11.

Manipulation and Coercion in Historical Context

3min

12.

Navigating Faith and Intimacy

29min

13.

Navigating Non-Monogamy Post-Mormonism

8min

14.

Exploring Spiritual Transition and Mental Health Insights

4min

15.

Greenstone Counseling: Supporting Faith Transitions and Trauma Healing

2min

16.

Gratitude and Call to Support in Healing Conversations

4min

In this episode of Mormon Stories, Erika Nordfelt shares her powerful journey from a devout Mormon upbringing to finding healing and self-discovery. Erika recounts her experiences growing up in a close-knit Mormon family, navigating high school in Colorado, and attending BYU-Idaho, where she faced struggles with religious expectations and marital dynamics shaped by the Church.She candidly discusses topics like sexual shame, pornography in marriage, and the role of Twelve-Step programs, highlighting the challenges of reconciling faith, identity, and personal growth. Erika opens up about her turning points, leaving the Church with her husband, and her work as a therapist, witnessing firsthand the impact of shame within Mormon culture.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:00:00 Intro

00:03:18 Erika’s intention for coming onto Mormon Stories and sharing her story

00:06:12 Erika’s upbringing and her parents

00:14:32 The best of Mormonism is being raised outside of Utah or Idaho, Mormonism should be the salt not the whole meal

00:16:30 High School years and feeling undesirable in the dating aspect

00:23:18 Her relationship with her body in dance and modesty

00:35:00 Sexual neglect in her upbringing and in the Mormon church

00:37:26 Attending BYU-Idaho - She did not serve a mission because she met her husband

00:49:20 Her awareness to physical touch and how she was raised

00:54:20 How the Mormon church shaped their marital relationship as far as gender roles, etc.

01:06:07 Learning that her husband struggled with masturbation and porn and how she handled it

01:20:00 She felt so much despair when her husband confessed to viewing pornography

01:29:23 The Twelve Step Program and what part it played in her marriage

01:39:20 How long did she go to these Twelve Step meetings and was it working?

01:46:10 Moving to Rexburg and getting new jobs on campus

01:56:00 Seeing clients for the first time at the BYU-Idaho Counseling Center

02:03:55 She had a front row seat to Mormon suffering while working as a counselor

02:14:35 Checking in with their marriage during this time in their life

02:26:55 The beginning of the end lasted for five years, holes being poked in the Gospel

02:33:10 She began exploring troublesome church topics from a safe place in the church

02:43:40 Has leaving the church affected her therapy practice at all?

02:50:40 A better way to approach porn and masturbation

03:19:13 Erika Nordfelt wrote a book called “Don’t Walk Alone”

____________

Mormon Stories Thanks Our Generous Donors!

Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today:

Our Platforms:

Social Media:

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts

Save insights instantly, chat with episodes, and build lasting knowledge - all powered by AI.

Mormon Stories Podcast

Therapist Combats Mormon Sexual Shame - Erika Nordfelt | Ep. 1984

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

Introduction to Erica Norfeldt

The Role of Shame in Mental Health

Navigating Sexual Health and Shame

The Importance of Community Support

Impact of the 12-Step Model

Confronting the Lack of Empathy in Religious Spaces

The Journey Toward Self-Acceptance

Exploration of Non-Monogamy

Navigating the Counseling Journey

Call for Greater Awareness and Change

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts