David Robson, author of "The Laws of Connection," delves into the science behind strong relationships and the psychological barriers we face. He explains how a 'shared reality' is crucial for meaningful connections and discusses the detrimental effects of frenemies and the 'liking gap' on our social lives. Robson offers actionable advice on mastering social skills and effective conversation techniques, emphasizing honesty and kindness. He also highlights the health benefits of forgiveness and the art of sincere apologies.
50:45
forum Ask episode
web_stories AI Snips
view_agenda Chapters
menu_book Books
auto_awesome Transcript
info_circle Episode notes
insights INSIGHT
Shared Reality and Loneliness
Loneliness isn't just about being alone physically; it's about lacking a shared reality with others.
A shared reality means feeling on the same wavelength, like the other person gets you.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Avoid Being a Frenemy
Be consistent in how you treat others; avoid being a "frenemy."
Inconsistent behavior can be more stressful than purely negative relationships.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Building Mutual Understanding
Verbalize your feelings and engage in rhythmic activities together to build shared reality.
Try karaoke, dancing, or any activity that synchronizes your physical experience.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
Written by Louisa May Alcott, 'Little Women' is a semi-autobiographical novel that details the lives of the March sisters in 1860s Massachusetts. The story is loosely based on Alcott's own childhood and that of her three sisters. It explores themes of domesticity, work, and true love, and is known for its portrayal of the sisters' distinct personalities and their struggles with societal expectations. The novel follows their experiences with poverty, illness, and personal growth, and it has been praised for its realistic and empathetic depiction of family life and the challenges faced by women during that era.
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Austen
Published in 1813, 'Pride and Prejudice' is a novel that revolves around the lives of the Bennet family, particularly the second eldest daughter, Elizabeth. The story is set in the early 19th century and explores themes of love, societal expectations, and personal growth. The novel centers on Elizabeth's tumultuous relationship with the wealthy and proud Mr. Darcy, whose initial arrogance and reserve gradually give way to a deeper understanding and mutual respect. Through their interactions, both characters learn to overcome their prejudices and flaws, leading to a transformative journey of self-discovery and redemption. The novel also delves into the societal pressures on women to secure marriages, the importance of family, and the nuances of social hierarchy during the British Regency period[3][4][5].
The Laws of Connection
The Scientific Secrets of Building a Strong Social Network
David Robson
Everyone has heard about the incredible benefits that come to mind, body, and spirit from having strong relationships. The quality of our social ties has a huge impact on our physical and mental health and our overall feeling of flourishing.
Yet many people still struggle to create these strong relationships in their lives, and often figure that things like weakening communities and digital technology are to blame.
But my guest says that the barriers to establishing bonds with others may actually be more psychological than physical, and he shares research-backed tips for breaking through them in his new book, The Laws of Connection: The Scientific Secrets of Building a Strong Social Network. Today on the show, David discusses how we can feel lonely even when we're surrounded by people if we don't have what he calls a "shared reality." We then discuss ways to build that shared reality with others. We talk about why frenemies are so bad for you, how to overcome the "liking gap," why you might want to interrupt someone to connect with them, the need to be aware of the novelty penalty in conversations, why you should stop telling white lies, and much more.
The Art of Manliness 
