4: Mobile phone photos/sexting, and money management. The conversation you must have with your tween/teen. Also, how to increase responsibility using an allowance.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

Our teens are growing up in a world of TikTok, You Tube and Instagram, places full of barely dressed people talking freely about body positivity and sex. It’s hardly surprising that they might have a different view of what’s acceptable from that of their parents.

In the UK, sex is legal at age 16, but any sexual images of a person under 18 are deemed child pornography, even when the person sending them is the creator. 

Research compiled in the UK for Cultureframed.org: 

1 in 7 under 18’s sends sext messages; 1 in 4 receives them. 1 in 8 who received a message has sent it to others without the sender’s consent. 

Internet Watch Foundation, confirmed 68k cases of self-generated imagery that needed to be removed in 2020 – up 77% on the previous year.

In 80% of these cases, the victims were 11 to 13-year-old girls. Fewer than 8% of young women send nude pics because they genuinely want to.

Book: When You Lose It, Roxy and Gay Longworth. 

Why do they sext?

• Seeking someone’s approval
• Long distance/online relationships, where there is a desire to have a sexual relationship
• Feeling confident in their looks and they want to share with other people
• Peer pressure
• Fun
• As a result of harassment, threats or blackmail

What to do?
Having regular talks about relationships, sex and consent. Use open questions, actively listen, and never be shocked. 

• What do they post about themselves?
• What sites do they use and what draws them there? 
• What types of attention are they looking for online and from whom? 
• How do they decide what information to share? 

Set clear guidelines and firewalls.

Boys?
Adolescent boys are under enormous pressure to impress their peers.

• Ask boys why they would feel entitled to ask for these photos, knowing the pitfalls. 
• Ask them what pressures they feel from their friends and porn culture. 
• Do they know that it’s illegal to disseminate or ask for nude images of under age people?

If something's happened:

• Speak to the school and parents of the other teenager to the get the material removed.
• The IWF can search for explicit images or videos of your child and remove them.
• Tell your girls about the #gurlsoutloud support hashtag.
• A free service to remove pictures of under 18’s online. https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/

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I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
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Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk