Sex and Psychology Podcast Episode 168: How To Bring Your Sexual Fantasies To Life
Fantasy vs. Reality
- 80% of adults have fantasies they’d like to act out.
- Only 20% have actually done so.
Sharing Fantasies
- Many adults hesitate to share fantasies.
- Only half have shared them with a partner.
Overcoming Shame
- Overcome shame by joining sex-positive communities and consuming sex-positive media.
- Consider therapy for deep-seated shame.
There’s a pretty big gap between fantasy and reality. In my own research, I’ve found that about 80% of adults say they have a fantasy they’d like to act out at some point, but just about 20% have ever done so before. I’ve also found that only about half of adults say they’ve ever even shared this fantasy with a partner. So how can we get more comfortable talking about our fantasies and incorporating them into our sex lives? In this episode, we’re going to discuss what you need to know!
I am joined once again by Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, speaker, writer, and consultant. She runs a course called Open Smarter, which helps people figure out what type of relationship is right for them using science-based assessments of their unique personality.
In our last conversation, Dr. Zhana and I discussed a report released by Ashley Madison called Unbound Love: Sex, Fantasy, and Desire that offers some insight into what people today fantasize about. Be sure to check out that episode as well! Some of the topics we discuss today include:
- How can we unburden ourselves of sexual shame when it’s standing in the way of our fantasies?
- How do you communicate about sexual fantasies with a partner in a healthy way?
- How do you deal with situations where you and your partner have totally different fantasies?
- What kinds of things do you need to think about and consider before acting on a fantasy?
- What should you do if acting on a fantasy doesn’t work out the way you thought it would?
Make sure to check out Zhana’s website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @DrZhana to learn more.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.