TED Talks Daily How to tame your advice monster | Michael Bungay Stanier
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Feb 25, 2025 
Michael Bungay Stanier, a writer and teacher, discusses the pervasive issue of the 'advice monster' in our conversations. He explains how it prompts us to give premature suggestions, often missing the real problem. Instead of jumping to advice, he advocates for active listening and curiosity, revealing how this approach can empower others. He also delves into the three damaging personas of the advice monster: 'Tell it', 'Save it', and 'Control it', encouraging deeper inquiry through thoughtful questions.
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Shannon's Advice
- Michael Bungay Stanier shares a story about giving advice to his friend Shannon.
- His advice was ineffective because he offered solutions before understanding her real challenge.
The Advice Monster
- People tend to offer advice quickly, even without fully grasping the situation.
- Our eagerness to provide solutions often overshadows genuine listening and understanding.
The Problem with Advice
- Advice-giving becomes problematic when it's our default response.
- We often solve the wrong problem, and our advice isn't as good as we believe.