Adam Hurrey, David Walker, and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the joys of getting ready for five-a-side much earlier than you need to, the smug satisfaction of noticing something before the commentators do, the under-explored world of football TV studio furniture and the quintessential conditions for "nothing doing".

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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