S17, Ep10 Elliot Page on the transcendence of showing up as himself
Jul 5, 2023
auto_awesome
Elliot Page, a powerful and honest individual, shares experiences of living a 'closeted' life and struggles with friendship and reaching out for help. Topics include abusive homophobia in Hollywood, battles to connect with true self, euphoria of presenting physically as oneself, and troubling experiences during a magazine photoshoot.
Elliot Page reflects on the struggle of being closeted, disguising himself, and hiding his partners, highlighting the detrimental impact it had on his mental and physical health, as well as the strain it placed on his relationships.
Page shares their experience of struggling with isolation and failing to effectively communicate their emotions and struggles to friends and partners, emphasizing the immense importance of friendship and chosen family in their healing journey.
Deep dives
Failure to come out and be true to oneself
Elliot Page reflects on the struggle of being closeted, disguising himself, and hiding his partners. He discusses the pressure he felt in Hollywood to conform and the fear that coming out would jeopardize his career. Page acknowledges the detrimental impact this had on his mental and physical health, as well as the strain it placed on his relationships. He regrets not utilizing his platform earlier to be visible and vocal for the LGBTQ+ community. However, Page expresses gratitude for the healing and validation that came from writing his memoir, 'Page Boy,' and the positive impact it had on his relationships.
Failure to reach out to others during difficult times
Page shares their experience of struggling with isolation and failing to effectively communicate their emotions and struggles to friends and partners. They discuss how their fear of being perceived as ungrateful or incapable led them to hide their pain and put on a facade, resulting in strained relationships and missed opportunities for support. Page appreciates the compassion and forgiveness they received from their closest friends, who stood by them even during moments of distance and absence. They emphasize the immense importance of friendship and chosen family in their healing journey.
Acting as an escape and a path to truth
Page describes their love for acting, highlighting its ability to create moments of connection, truth, and emotional exploration. They emphasize the power of storytelling and the portrayal of authentic characters to access and convey truth. Page attributes their early inclination to acting as a means of expressing emotions they struggled to communicate in their personal life. Despite the challenges that came with their career, including bullying and pressure to conform, Page expresses gratitude for the opportunity it has provided to feel and connect on a deep level.
The transformative nature of healing, evolving, and self-acceptance
Page reflects on their journey of healing and personal growth, emphasizing the capacity for individuals to evolve and change. They discuss the healing process experienced through therapy, writing their memoir, and open conversations with loved ones. Page explores the concept of shedding shame, emphasizing the importance of self-love, self-acceptance, and trusting one's own identity. They encourage others to release the narratives and expectations that society imposes, emphasizing the ripple effect of self-love and the ability to show up authentically for oneself and others.
This is one of those encounters that felt profoundly special because, no matter how much preparation I might have done, I truly don't think anything could have fully prepared me for the powerful honesty of Elliot Page.
In his only UK podcast interview to mark the publication of his bestselling memoir, Pageboy, Elliot joins me in our season finale to talk about his self-perceived failure at living a 'closeted' life, his failures in friendship and his inabilty to reach out for help when he needed it. He talks about the abusive homophobia in Hollywood, his battles to connect with the truth of his truest self and the euphoria he now feels when he is able to present physically as he really is.
Elliot moved me so deeply and I know anyone who listens to this will be meaningfully changed by it.