Today I talk with Jennifer Wallace, an award-winning journalist and author of "Never Enough: When Achievement Pressure Becomes Toxic and What We Can Do About It." With an illustrious career that began at “60 Minutes” and her current role as a Journalism Fellow at the Center for Parent and Teen Communication at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, Jennifer brings a wealth of knowledge and a keen eye to the discussion.
Together, we discuss the intricacies of parental pressures, the weight of societal expectations, and the emotional toll it takes on children. As we navigate the turbulent waters of achievement and the idea of "never enough," Jennifer sheds light on the transforming landscape of parenthood and the silent battles our children face. Are parents unknowingly acting as conduits of social pressure? Can the prestige of a top-ranked college serve as a life vest in uncertain times, or is it turning into a lead vest drowning our children? Tune in for an episode filled with profound insights, backed by Jennifer's impeccable journalism and real-life anecdotes.
Timeline Summary:
[02:11] Shocking stats from nationwide parenting survey
[05:45] Overworked teen runs laps on 5 hours of sleep
[07:08] Relentless achievement culture like dystopian novel
[08:04] Vital importance of sleep for anxious teens
[11:04] Ned's "sleep stipend" motivates better rest
[12:25] Sleep fuels anxiety's fire
[15:21] Control and stress relation
[18:31] Giving teens autonomy improves grades
[19:41] 5:1 positive to negative interaction ratio
[20:24] Abandoning play and downtime
[22:39] Instilling balanced lives early on
[23:23] "Don't talk that way about my kid!"
[25:08] Not anti-achievement, just pro-balance
[25:40] PDFT - playtime, downtime, family time
[26:04] Parents as "social conduits"
[27:41] Zero-sum thinking and safety nets
[28:20] Teen already worried about affording food
[29:02] Regressing down Maslow's hierarchy
[30:34] The vital concept of mattering
[33:55] Actionable mattering framework
[35:02] Crumpled money "mattering hack"
[36:07] Teaching internal vs. external pride
[38:29] Nostalgia informing future direction
Connect with Jennier Wallace:
https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/
Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – and What We Can Do About It
Links & Resources:
· The Long Walk by Steven King
· Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker
· The Sleep-Deprived Teen by Lisa Lewis
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If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
The Self-Driven Child